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As much as I hate to admit it, Lucas was right last night. I’m not some lowlife piece of shit who hits women. So why was I raising my hand to Charlotte? I swore to protect her, but here I am, turning into her biggest threat.
I pace the floor of the run-down motel, my designer shoes scuffing the cheap tile. “Fuck this!” I say out loud to myself.
I turn toward the door and swing it open, then slip out and into my car. I put it in drive and floor it, letting the gravel kick up behind me and leave a trail of dust in my wake.
Before I turn into the drive, I pull the baseball cap on my head lower to cover my eyes. The guard at the gate, someone I haven’t seen before, nods as he hits a button and the gate swings open. I pull in next to Charlie’s old Pontiac and park. I take off my cap and throw it into the passenger seat before I exit.
Walking to the door, I contemplate if I really want to do what I’ve been thinking. Taking a deep breath, I walk inside and close the door behind me. “Boys!” I yell.
Lucas and Julius emerge from their rooms and strut until they’re right in front of me. Lucas is the first to speak, as always. “What is it, boss?”
“I want you to call Sloan. Get him here now.”
Lucas raises his eyebrow, looks to Julius, then back to me. “In case you’ve forgotten, you’re still dead.”
I scrub my hand down my face and try to tighten the top on the bottle of anger I have buried in me. I’ve already exploded multiple times; I don’t need to do it again. “I said, call Sloan. Now.”
I’m not sure if it’s the edge I make sure is present in my voice, or the fact Lucas knows he’s on thin ice with me, but he pulls a phone from his pocket and dials Sloan’s number.
“You.” I point to Julius “Go get Charlie.” He disappears without question.
“Hey, Chief.” I listen as Lucas talks. “Yeah, everything is fine. I was wondering if you could stop by for a minute… No, everything is fine, like I said, we just have some business to discuss… Okay… Okay.”
As he ends the call, Julius comes out of Charlie’s room with her in tow. When they stop in front of me, her eyes don’t meet mine. She hardly acknowledges my presence.
I shake away the feeling of betrayal and do what I came here to do. “Sloan is on his way, right?” I look to Lucas, and he nods. “Good.”
Charlie tips her head. “What are you doing, Teddy?”
I want to tell her I’m finally putting an end to all the bullshit. That I’m getting to the bottom of who murdered her father in hopes she’ll forgive me, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t know if it’s my pride or the fact I’m still so angry with her about everything, but I just can’t.
I continue to ignore her question, the same way she practically ignored me. I try to focus my attention on Julius. “Take her upstairs and write down every detail you can remember about where Emil is holding our stuff. I have a plan.”
She inhales sharply through her mouth and shakes her head. “Teddy don’t do this. It won’t end well.”
I close my eyes for a second and smile at the fact she knows exactly what I’m planning. She’s always had a way of knowing things before I say them. It’s one of the many things I loved about her.
Loved…
The word bounces around my mind and almost makes me sad. An emotion I’ve kept under lock and key beneath my heart. An emotion I swore to never feel, but that’s the thing with Charlie… She makes me feel.
For the longest time, all of the years I spent watching her, and the weeks I had her before I left, my love for Charlie was never a question. I knew I would step in front of her if war came. Take any bullet, challenge any man—I would have done anything for her. But now my mind is questioning my love for her all on its own.
I shake the thoughts away and look back to her. “I’m doing what needs to be done. Go with Julius and draw up a map for us to follow.”
She pauses, her mouth slightly open like she wants to say more, but she doesn’t. She disappears up the steps with Julius.
Once they’re out of sight, I turn back to Lucas. I want to say something, anything, but I can’t even bear to look at him the same way. Thinking about him and Charlie together makes me angry. I can feel the blood in my body boil. My heart races, ready to explode, but I don’t act on it. Keeping your composure when you’re in a position like mine is key. If the enemy sees your own walls crumbling, they’ll light the match to speed up the process.
Cedric always told me love is a killer. I never knew what he meant, but I’m seeing it now. It kills you inside slowly at first, but you don’t notice because it’s masked with lust. Then, slowly, it seeps to the outside, coating every surface, space, and person within reach. The problem with that? All of my love died with Charlie. Every ounce I had to give I gave to her willingly. I let her take it, use it. I let her change me. I knew it was only a matter of time before something like this happened, so why am I so damn angry about it?
I push away the thoughts and inhale deep through my nose. If anyone is to blame here, it’s Charlie. She’s the outsider, not Lucas. She’s the one who wrecked what we had, and I fucking let her. But not anymore.
Before I can finally break the silence and ask some bullshit question to fill the quiet space, a knock sounds out from the other side of the door. I lock eyes with Lucas before turning and opening it.
Sloan stands on the other side in his khaki suit with his gold badge pinned above his heart. “Evening, Chief.” The look on his face is one I’ve seen before, but instead it was Charlie who wore it.
His eyes scan over my entire body, lingering on every inch. “What the fuck,” he whispers. “You’re dead.”
