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“Did he get it?” It’s been three days since I sent Chief Sloan away with the paper. I’ve been waiting by the phone eagerly because if Cameron finds what the Chief planted, that means either he or the ATF agent will be showing up to question Charlie again. And it’ll give me an excuse to go back to the house.
“Yeah.” Sloan’s voice is raspy on the other end. “He got it last night.”
“Thanks.” I hit the End button, then take off my suit jacket. I know what’s coming the moment I walk in those doors.
I fish my keys from my pocket, then throw the jacket over the chair. Stepping out the door of this shitty motel, I take one last breath, then continue to my car.
The whole drive my mind is in a weird fog. I would like to think maybe one day Charlie could forgive me, or maybe the twins won’t kill me, but both are doubtful. I’ve taught my boys to take mercy on no one even if that someone happens to be me. I just pray to whatever god will listen that maybe, just maybe, part of my training didn’t stick as well as everything else.
I follow the same routine I have every other time I come back to my house.
My house…
The words in my head seem so foreign. Home doesn’t feel like home. Not after being gone for weeks, not after staying away since I’ve been back, and not since I did what I did to Charlie.
I shake away my thoughts the best I can and pull through the gate as the guard clicks a button to open it. I take my time creeping up the drive. Part of me is scared. I almost laugh to myself because being scared isn’t something I’ve felt in years. Men like me don’t get scared, but I know I fucked up. And I know I have to pay for what I did.
The drive finally ends, not giving me any more time to contemplate or procrastinate, and I swear things start to move in slow motion when I see Carl lingering on the steps. I take one last deep breath and step out of my car.
The sound my shoes make along the walkway is deafening. So loud, so quiet. All at once.
“The chief called me,” he says as I approach, like he can read my mind, knowing I’ll ask how he knew I was coming. “They’re pissed,” he continues as I take the first step.
“I know.” I take another step.
“I’m pissed,” he adds.
“I know.”
“Is that all you can say for yourself? You know? What the fuck was running through your mind, boy?” His shrill voice echoes around us, bouncing off the trees and slamming back into my ears.
I shake my head. “I love her, Carl.”
His hand moves from his side quickly, the back of it connecting with my face. “Don’t you dare disrespect her that way. You don’t love her. Here I was, trying to make excuses for your crude behavior, thinking you were simply scared to love someone so powerful. I was wrong. You’re nothing but a weak, naïve child trying to play house with someone who is clearly out of your league.”
My anger almost gets the best of me, but I remember I deserve this. Anything and everything from this point on, I deserve. “I was stupid. Stupid and confused, but the best thing I’ve ever done was make her hate me so bad that she wouldn’t want me anymore.”
His face softens the slightest bit. “What are you talking about?”
“We’re setting up Emil. When the ATF agent comes to ask more questions, I’ll give him Emil. People like him don’t care who they take down as long as they get someone. And I already know Emil will find out and come for me. If I don’t end up dead, I’d be surprised. Charlie hating me just makes all of this easier. She won’t hurt like she did before.”
He shakes his head slowly. “Your logic is so flawed, boy. That girl loves you. That feeling doesn’t go away overnight, no matter what the other person inflicts. Let’s just hope you even make it to follow through with your plan.”
I nod, knowing exactly what he means. I’ll only get to follow through if Lucas and Julius don’t kill me first. He pushes open the door and steps to the side, letting me enter alone.
Immediately Lucas emerges from his room like he’s been waiting on me. He shakes his head with a grimace on his face, then backs to Julius’s door, keeping his eyes on me. He taps lightly three times before Julius steps out too. I nod, already knowing what’s coming. Both of them stare me down as I glide past them, all the way down the hall, to the room we only use for one thing. Less than two months ago I stood in this same, ill-lit room, glaring over Hugo Moreno, trying to get answers. But now I’ll be on the receiving end of things.
I don’t bother closing the door behind me because I know they’re following. As soon as I hear them step in behind me, I swear the walls start closing in on us. My eyes go blurry, and my stomach turns. I’ve molded these men to be killers. Ruthless, unforgiving killers, and now I’m their victim.
You never expect to be destroyed by something you create. But maybe that’s where some makers fail. They mold people and objects into marvelous things and beings, set them on the right track, but before they know it, those things and people are coming back for them.
The door clicks closed behind them. Now it’s only a matter of time.
“You know what’s going to happen, Theodore.” Lucas’s voice is poised in a sense. Calm, even, calculated.
“I know.” I repeat the same words I said to Carl.
“You won’t ever touch her again.” Julius speaks this time.
