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The door to my room opens, shining a small sliver of light into the small space. When Lucas walks in, I can’t help the excitement and relief I feel. I was so worried things wouldn’t go our way and he would be killed.
I leap from my bed and sprint to him, then throw my arms around his neck. I was pissed he didn’t let me go, but I’d be lying if I said I’m not happy he’s back and okay. “You’re home.”
He wraps his arms around my waist, hugging me just as tightly before pulling away. “Everything went smooth. He’s willing to help us get Emil out of the picture, but there is one condition.”
I drop my arms. “Condition?”
He nods. “He’s going to take over all of Emil’s territory and our guns.”
“That wasn’t part of the plan, Lucas.”
“I know it wasn’t. But it’s what made him agree, and maybe it’s best to get you and the baby away from here. Give you both more, give Hale a normal life.”
My heart sinks. I should want better for my child, but I feel this is the only way I’ll be able to stay close to Teddy. I shouldn’t want to stay connected to him, but I do. For the baby. I just wish I could wash away all of the bad connected to the thought of him. “This is all I know anymore, Lucas. This is all I have.”
He tilts his head. “This isn’t all you have, Charlie. There is so much more out there.”
“Says the one who will still be okay. Who won’t have to worry. You all are basically throwing me to the wolves to figure shit out on my own with a child. You’ve uprooted me and brought me here. Made me leave everything behind, and now I’m expected to just figure shit out alone?” I try not to let my lip quiver, but it’s pointless. I don’t even have control over my own emotions anymore.
“Who said you’d be alone?”
“What, would you come with me? Take care of a baby that isn’t yours?” The words leave my mouth before I can think, and instant regret flows over me, but I don’t take it back.
“You know what, Charlie?” He starts pacing in front of me. “I put up with a lot of shit from you and bite my tongue, but you’re making it extremely difficult to do that right now.” He stops in front of me when the last word leaves his lips.
I let out a perverse laugh. “Is that supposed to scare me? Because it doesn’t. Do you not remember what I’ve been through—who I’ve dealt with? You can hate me all you want for speaking my mind, but that won’t stop me from doing it.”
His head slightly flinches back. “I don’t hate you.” He levels his eyes with mine and steps even closer, letting his warm breath skirt across my mouth. “Is that what you want, me to hate you? Is that what all of this is?”
Anger swells in my chest. How dare he try and call me out on something. Even more, how dare he make me question shit. Is he right? Maybe. Do I care? No. I reach out to strike him across the face, but he catches my arm before I can connect.
“Are we really going to do this again?” He looks to his hand clasped around mine with an almost smile.
“Fuck you, Lucas,” I spit.
Now he laughs. “I’ve tried, but you won’t let me.” He drops my hand with a shrug.
I tip my head, ready to question the sudden change, but he speaks before I can. “If you want to keep up the charade of hating me, I guess I’ll do the same. I think you’ve forgotten how ugly I can be.”
Again, I strike, but this time he doesn’t stop me. His head snaps to the side, and my hand stings with the impact, but I don’t let it show.
“Do it again,” he hisses.
“No.”
“No?” he questions.
“No,” I state again. I’m tired of being told what to do.
“Now that I want it, you don’t want to give it to me?” He presses his body into mine and snakes his arm around me. His palm lands on the base of my neck, then moves up to the back of my scalp. His fingers tangle into my hair as he leans down to whisper into my ear. “That isn’t fair, Flower.”
His hand falls as he steps away. “If you weren’t so fucking stubborn, you’d realize no matter what, I’ll be here for you. Wherever you go, I’ll be there.”
Heat flares inside me, coating all of my limbs, lessening the anger, then moves to my core. I want Lucas so bad—even when he’s probably the last person I should want. He was Teddy’s right hand, but he’s also the one protecting me. He’s never wronged me as bad as Teddy, but I’m still scared. What happens if we take it to the next level?
“Be there in what way?”
“In whatever way you need me.”
