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“The bleeding looks to be slowing too. Try and keep your breathing steady. I know this is scary, but everything will be okay.” His withered hand reaches for mine and squeezes my fingers.
“What if he doesn’t make it?” I finally voice the only concern I’ve had in the last hour or however long it’s been.
“Don’t think about that, Charlotte.” He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. I know he’s worried too.
The door opens again, but this time Dr. Kelly steps in, wheeling a machine behind him with his leather bag over his shoulder. He stays silent as Carl walks out, and Lucas steps out of the shower. When he’s finally next to me, he stops and bring the machine to the front of him. “What’s going on, Charlie?”
“I was hit in the stomach. I don’t feel any pain now, but I’m bleeding.” My shock-like state finally gives way, and the tears start to flow. “Can you tell me if the baby is okay?”
He gives me a firm nod as Lucas exits the bathroom and hovers over him wrapped in a towel.
He lifts the towel and glances between my legs, looking at the blood on my pants no doubt. “I’m going to need you to remove your pants.”
I nod and stand from the bed slowly as he turns his back to me. Lucas lets me use him as support as I pull them down, then slip one leg out. Blood stains my thighs, making the most terrible thoughts run rabid in my mind. A cry claws its way from my throat and out my mouth as Lucas grabs the other leg of my pants as I step out.
“Don’t cry, baby. We will fix this.” The shakiness in his voice makes me question if he even believes his own words.
Turning back to the bed, the blood on the sheet makes me queasy. It isn’t a lot, but it’s enough to make me worry. I saw the blood on my pants, but I didn’t think there was enough to seep through and stain the bed this badly. Dr. Kelly turns around, and like he can read my thoughts, he lays a folded towel over the stain to help ease my mind.
I settle back in and wait for his instruction. “Go ahead and put the bottoms of your feet together and let your knees fall open.”
I do as I’m told and stare at the ceiling as he inspects my most vulnerable part. I didn’t even want a baby, at least I didn’t think so, but the thought of losing him, or her, breaks my heart. Just when I’m finally making headway with losing Teddy and letting myself feel—really getting myself back—this happens. My heart can’t take losing another person I love even if that person barely exists at this point.
“Okay, you aren’t actively bleeding right now, so I’m not going to check you. I’m going to perform a normal sonogram and make sure we can detect a heartbeat and see if there is any visible damage to the fetus.”
I nod as he drapes a towel over my lower half and raises my shirt. He squirts cold liquid on the lowest point of my stomach, then fires up the machine. At first, I see nothing but flashes of black-and-white blobs. Nothing that makes any sense to my untrained eyes. He flips another switch, and static mixed with whooshing sounds out around us.
Finally, he turns the handheld piece, and a perfect silhouette of a baby takes up the middle of the screen. It’s still which make me worry, but after another turn, a fast-paced heartbeat starts to sing.
More tears well in my eyes as my body shakes with relief. “It’s okay,” I cry.
Letting out a breath he seemed to be holding, Dr. Kelly nods. “From what I can see, it’s perfect. Your placenta, on the other hand, is not, and I think that’s what’s causing the bleeding.”
“What’s wrong with it?” Lucas finally breaks his silence. “And what can we do to fix it?”
“It’s placenta previa. Since the bleeding had stopped, it shouldn’t be too much of a concern. I’ll give you a shot to help speed up the develop the baby’s lungs just in case, and recommend bed rest and nothing in the vagina until after delivery. I’ll be sure and let Dr. Davis know so he can monitor you more closely.”
I nod as he wipes the gel off my stomach and hits another button on the machine. “And no fighting, Charlie. You need to be really careful.”
Before I can speak, Lucas does. “She won’t be doing anything.” He cuts his eyes to me. “I tried to tell her to wait in the car.”
Dr. Kelly shakes his head. “You need to listen to him from now on. Next time this happens, you might not be so lucky.” Small black-and-white pictures print from a slot on the machine, showing me the little human inside of me.
I nod again and lower my head, completely ashamed. The thought of losing the baby almost killed me, but what I have I done to prevent it? I’m still trying to stand my ground, hold my place as queen, all while putting my child’s life on the back burner. How fucking selfish.
“I’ll stay on bed rest” is all I manage to get out without chastising myself.
Dr. Kelly nods, then pulls a syringe from his bag. “Good.” After he sticks it into my hip and injects the medicine, he removes it and puts the cap back on, then places it back in his back. “The medicine shouldn’t affect you in anyway, but I’m only a phone call away.”
“Thanks, Doc,” Lucas mumbles as Dr. Kelly walks out, dragging the machine behind him.
When the door closes, his eyes shoot to mine. The hardness melts away when it’s just us, and the sweet, worried expression comes back. “That scared the fuck out of me,” he sighs.
“Me too,” I admit, trying to bottle all the wayward emotions back up.
He rubs his temples, then walks over to me and extends his hand. “Come on.”
I grab his hand and stand, letting him lead me into the bathroom. He turns the shower on and lets the water get warm, filling the room with steam. He pulls my shirt over my head slowly, then throws it to the floor with his clothes.
