AllFreeNovel
Share Us
It was easier to blame her than me. Never mind that I had driven her out.
Diarmuid continued, “I don’t even want to imagine the number of seedy people she could have called instead. If she hadn’t trusted you.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, because I had to imagine them. The faces of the men in the hallway at her father’s house all appeared behind my eyelids. Unfocused eyes. Pale faces. Sweaty brows. They were druggies and drunks and I’m sure they looked no different than I did to her that rainy night. Apparently they scared her less than me.
Rian nudged my shoe with his. I could just make out Mason whispering, “Is it Aurnia? Is something wrong with Aurnia?”
Even though I could barely hear him I wanted to shout at him to, “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” I wanted to squeeze his neck if that didn’t do the trick. Guilt was already clawing at me like a wild animal.
“No, no,” I said to Diarmuid. “You’re right, it’s a good thing she called me.”
Rian’s foot stopped prodding mine. Did he know that she hadn’t called? Could he tell just from that that I was lying? Was it so obvious to him that Aurnia would never place her trust in me? Could never?
“It’s obviously going to take some time to work out with the police and the store owner,” Diarmuid said. “But they were able to catch the kids before anything was taken. Really a botched job, thankfully. Actually I’m a little surprised about that, too, given how smart I thought Aurnia was.”
Fuck.
“And the place?” I asked.
“She didn’t tell you?”
“Been giving her some space,” I lied.
“You probably know best,” Diarmuid said. “You two seem to have gotten close.” I gritted my teeth as he continued, “It was a tattoo parlour on the other side of town. Almost the same name as yours, actually. Dublin Tattoo, I think it was. You should ask her about it. Would be a weird coincidence if it was one.”
“Yeah, I’ll make sure to ask her,” I said softly.
“So she’s there with you?” Diarmuid asked. “That’s really why I wanted to call. Just to make sure she’s there. And okay. You know, I’ve kind of taken a liking to her.”
“Yeah, me too,” I said, dragging a tired hand over my face.
What had I done? All I wanted was to keep her from that life. All I’d done was drive her right back to it. At least before she was in my apartment, at my parlour. She was under my watch.
But I’d chased her off. Where I couldn’t see her. Where I couldn’t keep her safe. What had I done?
“Well?” Diarmuid asked.
“What’s that?” I said dumbly.
I had been elsewhere. In smoky drug dens. In filthy rooms with stained mattresses. Inside the minds of men. I shuddered and tried to focus as Diarmuid said, “Aurnia? She’s with you?”
I glanced up at Mason and Rian, who were staring at me now with a mix of fear and anger. When they found out they would blame me. They should blame me. I blamed me.
“Yeah,” I said, avoiding their eyes because I couldn’t stand not to. “Yeah, she’s right here with me. She’s safe.”
Saying those words make me want to throw up. I heard the shriek of a chair as Mason stood up, rage in his eyes. Rian’s head fell into his open hands.
“Good, good,” Diarmuid said. “I mean, that’s all that really matters, isn’t it?”
That was the one thing I had forgotten about when I yelled at Aurnia, when I drove her away. Diarmuid was right: it was the one thing that mattered. It was the one thing I failed to do.
“Yes,” I said, though it came out as a shell-shocked croak.
“You’re a good guy, Conor,” Diarmuid said. “I could see she trusted you, that afternoon I was at the shop.”
I dug my fingernails into my palm to keep myself from screaming. This was my reward for what I’d done: torture. Absolute torture.
“I don’t imagine she trusts many people at this point in her life,” Diarmuid added, twisting the knife in my gut.
