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Still, the last thing I want is to upset her or make her nervous that I might overreact in some way. I force myself to relax.
She must feel the tension leaving my muscles, because the pressure on my back shifts then, turning into a comforting rub.
“You’re right, Ty,” I admit. “It’s not the hotel’s fault. Not a big deal.”
Ty’s eyes widen to the point of bursting, and the rest of the room takes a collective breath. It’s a little alarming how much they all expected me to flip out, and even more disturbing that if it weren’t for Maria looking on, they probably wouldn’t have been wrong.
Fuck. That is not the man I want to be. Maybe it was the man I was okay with being for a long time, but I’m not okay with that now. I don’t want to model that for the next generation, and I certainly don’t want that to be what I’m known for by the people I love the most.
Howard, the smart bastard, goes back to the game, pulling everyone’s attention away from my outburst, and I decide to head out onto my sister’s back deck for a minute. I just need a second to breathe. A gulp of air to figure out why on earth I reacted at all.
Ty, for once in his life, is right. It was ages ago. I’m over it. I’ve been over it. Charlotte is married to Lexi’s biological father. And yet, still, I can’t seem to find the place inside myself that doesn’t go back to that day when I hear something related to it. Even my long-running joke of busting Ty about it has to be rooted somewhere, right? The normal thing to do would be to let it fucking go.
I lean into the rail to think, and the door cracks open behind me. I’m expecting it to be my mom or my sister, so when Maria calls out to me, I’m surprised.
“If you want me to go back inside, I will. Just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
I jump and turn, standing up straight to face her. Her expression is one I can’t stand—cautious and unsure of her place out here.
I have to fix it straightaway.
“Please, no. Stay. I’m fine. I promise.”
She steps forward then, coming to stand next to me and mimicking my position with her ass at the rail. It takes several moments of silence before either one of us says anything, but when she does, I’m reminded swiftly while I always enjoyed Maria’s company so much.
“So…how about the hotel that rhymes with shmar-myle?” she asks with a secret smile. “You give them a bad Yelp review or something?”
I burst out laughing with a shake of my head, pulling her into my side and then swaying her back and forth like we’re just a couple of teenagers again.
Finally, I finish my laugh with a groan. “I like Howard, really, but his stupid word game always seems to be trouble.”
She raises her eyebrows, and I roll my eyes before I continue. “Honestly, it’s really not about what everyone thinks it is at all. It’s not the Carlyle. And it’s not the wedding or Charlotte or any of that shit. I’m more than over it. The only reason I usually even react is to bust Ty’s balls, but today just caught me off guard and felt a little different. Maybe it’s going back in time, spending all this time with you, but the past feels a hell of a lot fresher than normal, you know?”
She nods then, her face awash in understanding. “I get it. Boy, do I get it. Seeing Winnie today all grown up… God, Rem, she’s really something. And it just makes me think of her and Isabella as kids—going everywhere with us, doing everything we did. Winnie’s life is so vibrant, and I just wish…”
She doesn’t even have to finish for me to know exactly what she’s going to say. “I know.”
The fact of the matter is, Isabella got fucked and so did Maria. They don’t get the futures that Winnie and I still have a shot at. They don’t get a future together at all.
A single tear falls down Maria’s cheek, and she hurries to wipe it away while I pull her into a hug. “God, Ria,” I whisper into her hair, hugging her tighter into my embrace. “I’m so sorry.”
“So am I,” she murmurs back, and I find myself hugging her a little tighter. Everything just feels better with her in my arms.
A feminine throat clears at the door, and both of our heads come up as Maria pulls out of my arms. I’m fairly certain I’m shooting laser beams in Winnie’s direction because her eyes are light, and the corner of her mouth is lifted into a mild but contrite smirk.
