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“He’ll kill you in your sleep. Have you tried changing rooms?”
“There are no open rooms,” Joey reminds his boyfriend. Joey works part time in the admissions building to help with tuition. He knows these things.
“Who in the world thought it was okay to mix a gay dude with a homophobe?”
I glare at Rex, but honestly, his opinion of Landon is my own doing. He knows Landon and I are from the same town, and I mistakenly mentioned once that Landon doesn’t like me because I’m gay. I didn’t go into detail or explain that Landon wishes I was straight because that wouldn’t have caused problems in our friendship.
I’ve thrown his distaste for my sexuality in his face numerous times, but after much reflection, while working through the self-diagnosed depression this summer, I know he doesn’t hate me because I’m gay. My gayness doesn’t bother him at all. It’s the fact that I thought it was a good idea to kiss his straight ass and confess that kind of love for him.
“I’m worried for your safety,” Rex says, his voice growing louder with his concern.
“I’ll be fine,” I mutter.
I’ve never told my friend any of the good stuff about Landon. Only the bad things, most of them conjured in my own head, have spilled from my lips. Rex is a good friend and hates the guy even though they’ve never met.
Rex turns to his boyfriend. “What’s the quickest way to get a student expelled from school?”
Joey shakes his head, rejecting the idea outright.
“A dirty drug test? That should do it,” Rex continues.
“Jesus,” I hiss. “The guy is going to play pro baseball one day. You aren’t getting him kicked out of school.”
“So I’m just supposed to wait around for him to hurt you?” He crosses his arms over his chest. “Fine. Fine. What do you want me to wear to your funeral?”
“Dramatic much?” Joey says, but there’s a lightness to his tone. He loves Rex’s brand of crazy. “Plus, it’s obvious the guy is a little gay.”
“Landon Andrews?” Rex huffs. “Hardly. Do you know anyone on campus that pulls as much ass as he does?”
“Bi,” Joey concedes. “The ones that have the biggest problems—”
“Homophobes,” Rex corrects. “Let’s just call them like we see them, okay?”
Joey frowns before continuing. “A good majority of people who could be designated as homophobic have deep-seated gay tendencies. They do it in an effort to prevent the microscope from being on them. They don’t want people to know that they’re into it.”
“They’re also the ones who will beg you to suck them off and then punch you in the nose after you swallow. Insert horrible slur here,” Rex offers.
Joey growls at Rex, a look crossing between the two of them.
“Really?” Joey snaps. “Clearly we haven’t made as much progress as I thought.”
“What the fuck am I missing here?” I whisper.
“Listen,” Joey says, wrapping his arm around Rex’s shoulder. “It was a really dark time in my life. My point is that there is a lot of stigmata in the community. Some of that comes from its own members. How many times have we been out to brunch and heard—”
“Brunch for gays is a stereotype,” Rex mutters.
“Brunch is about mimosas,” I remind him, drawing a smile to his lips. I don’t drink, but I know he loves them. I don’t want to be the reason these guys start fighting tonight.
“As I was saying,” Joey continues. “All the times we hear he’s not gay enough, or he’s too gay, like there’s no in-between. And this is coming from people in the community, not straight folks with an opinion. If someone is questioning, then they can’t be fully straight. What the fuck does fully straight mean?”
“It’s an epidemic,” Rex adds.
“Someone we assume is straight asks a genuine question, and then people get mad. How many people have been left to suffer in silence because people aren’t willing to sit down and talk?”
“Pause,” Rex says, holding his hand up to Joey’s mouth. “Your soap box will have to wait.”
“No one’s sexuality is fluid,” Joey mutters from behind Rex’s hand.
“I think beer will fix all of this.” Rex begins to walk toward the party house, but the closer we get, the heavier my feet are.
“I think I’m going to head back to the dorm,” I say before we make it to the front steps. “I haven’t been sleeping well, and I just can’t handle all that loud music and body odor.”
College parties are fun until people start raising their arms in the air to dance. Everyone stinks after an hour in that type of crowd.
“You sure?” Rex asks.
I nod.
“Was it something I said?” Joey looks guilty.
“No. I just need to get some actual sleep.”
I wave bye to them, knowing I’m going to have to have a conversation with Rex about what happened between the two of them when they first got together.
