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“Yes,” I shamelessly admit. “I like you weak for me, and I like knowing that you need me. It makes me feel…”
“Powerful. Like a king?” Harper answers before I can finish.
“Yes, but it makes me feel useful too. Like I have meaning to my life.” I don’t know why I’m confessing this to her. It doesn’t change anything… but maybe it can. Maybe we can move on. A newfound excitement bursts through me. It won’t be easy, not at all, but maybe I can put the past behind us. Maybe I can have Harper.
Harper makes a sour face at me, “What kind of meaning? Like the one you had with that girl in the hallway yesterday?”
I clench my jaw, of course, she’s bringing that up. Then again, this is kind of my fault. My intention was for her to see me with another chick, and for her to assume that she wasn’t the only one I was getting ass from, but I’m not going to lie. Letting Bridget paw at me, letting her think she even had a chance, it made me sick to my stomach.
“That’s sounding a lot like jealousy, baby.”
“I’m not jealous,” she lifts her chin, fire dancing in her eyes. “It’s just after your big, I’m yours, speech, I was surprised to see you with someone else.”
“I told you that you are mine, not that I am yours.” As soon as I say the words, I regret them. The pain in her face is so much of a reminder of my own that I can’t stand it. Desperate to wipe that agony from her face, I continue, “You are cute when you are jealous though, and don’t worry, you’re the only one I’m fucking.”
Shoving away from me, she winces, and I don’t know if it’s her knees and palms that are hurting her or my words. She grabs the blanket and pulls it to her chest covering her body, “You can say all you want that you don’t care about me, that I don’t mean anything to you, but you proved to me last night that I matter.”
“How is that?” I tilt my head to the side and let my eyes roam over her. I want to peel that blanket back and kiss every inch of her silky-smooth skin.
“You saved me from James. You beat his ass, brought me back here, and took care of me. If that isn’t compassion, then I don’t know what is.” She stares at me triumphantly, and she’s right. I do care about her. I care about her too much, and that’s the fucking problem here.
“James fucked with something that belongs to me, so he got his ass handed to him. Maybe I just wanted to make sure that my fuck doll was kept in one piece?” I lie through my teeth.
Harper rolls her eyes, seeing right through my deception, “Right, is that why you still haven’t made a move to try and fuck me yet?”
“No matter what. You’re mine, Harper. Mine.”
“Why do you want me to be yours so badly?” Her question catches me off guard. Of course, deep down, I already know the answer. The thing is, I don’t want to admit it. Not to her or to myself.
“Maybe I do care about you… but I don’t know what that means yet. I don’t know if there will ever be an us again. I’ll let you stay here with me, but I expect something out of the deal.” I want to fuck her, rut into her like an animal, but I need to be gentle with her, at least right now. “Something tells me you won’t have a problem giving it to me either.”
Reaching for the blanket, I give it a tug, and unsurprisingly, she lets it go without a fight. Her cheeks turn a soft crimson, and her lips part, that pink tongue of hers darting out over her bottom lip.
“I want you,” I purr softly.
“Like you wanted that other girl?” she whispers, and I feel the pain of her admission deep in my chest. I know confessing that I did it to make her jealous might make me weak, but after last night, the last thing I care about is letting her think I wanted someone else. The truth is, I can’t stop thinking about her.
“The only one I want is you,” I reply, moving closer to her.
She blinks, her pupils dilate, and she moves a little closer, seeking out the comfort of my body. Reaching for her, I hold her close and press soft kisses against her skin, her forehead, cheeks, and then down her chest. I want to worship the very ground she walks on. I want what we could’ve had, should’ve had, so badly, that I’m willing to forgive, but can I truly forget?
“Lie on your back. I want to remind you why you’re mine, and that even though I’m a monster and beast, I can still use these same fingers and tongue that give you pain, to bring you pleasure.” She doesn’t fight me as I press a gentle hand to her chest. Instead, she falls back against the sheets and looks up at me.
