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Men like Finn didn’t change. Abuse was part of them.
I looked at my ex-boyfriend, and when I realised he was crying, I felt a measure of satisfaction. He was weeping like the pathetic coward that he was. He could knock me around and feel like he had worth, but put him against a man his size, and it was plain as day to see how little he really was.
“In case ye were wonderin’ what a real man is like, Finn …” I lifted my chin, pleased when the scumbag couldn’t even look in my direction. “I’m with one now, and you’re not worth the dirt under his boot. He gives me the world because I am his. You’re nothin’ … d’ye hear me, you’re nothin!”
The pair turned and slowly made their way towards the mobile home. Each step they took forward was one more they took out of my life. I never took my eyes off them. As much as I was scared and hurt from what I had just been through, I wanted to watch them walk away from me because when I left this town, I was leaving Jennifer and Finn in my past right along with it.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Ina
* * *
“JJ, take a left up here, please.”
I was in the back of Dante’s truck, sitting on his lap with his arms enveloped around me tightly. I had my face pressed against his neck with my hands clutching the chest of his T-shirt.
“What’s up here, babe?”
“The graveyard,” I answered Dante, swallowing a wince of pain. The flesh of my throat throbbed. It was almost like I could still feel Finn’s hands wrapped around it. “I have somethin’, someone, I need to see.”
Finn said my father was buried in Kildavin New Cemetery, and I needed to see his grave plot with my own eyes to believe he was really gone.
“Who’re ye visitin’, Ina?”
“Me daddy.”
Dante drew in a breath. “What?”
“He’s dead,” I said to the answering silence. “Finn said he hanged himself the week after I left home. The day I met you, Dante, he killed himself. Finn said an empty bottle of whiskey and the letter I left him were on the ground near him when he was found.”
No one said a word.
“I don’t feel sad. I don’t know if that will change when I’ve had time to process all of this, but I don’t feel anythin’ other than relief because if he’s dead, it means he can’t hurt me ever again. Am I evil for feelin’ like that?”
“No!”
The declaration came from every man in the car.
“What ye endured from that man was more than most people can handle, honey.” Dante kissed my head. “Don’t you ever feel badly for feelin’ relief about his passin’. He doesn’t deserve your tears, your empathy or even your pity. He doesn’t get anythin’ from you after all he took from ye. I hope the bastard rots in hell.”
A soft sob climbed its way up my throat.
“I’m in disbelief that this has happened, but part of me isn’t surprised. I should’ve known Finn would never let me go. I thought Daddy would try to find me, but if he’s dead, then his acceptance that I was no longer in his life was instant. What he did, he did for himself because he couldn’t survive on his own. It was always about him and his wants and needs. He never ever cared about me, did he?”
“No,” Dante answered. “But he wasn’t your father, Ina. He was just someone ye were related to. Your granda, he was your father. He gave ye all the love and care that your father should have given you. Your granda is your daddy.”
The truth of that made me cry.
“I have ye, baby.” Dante rubbed his hand up and down my back. “I swear to you that I’m gonna protect you for the rest of me life, and what happened today will never happen again. I swear, Ina.”
I believed him.
“I love you,” I whispered. “So much.”
Dante showed me how much he loved me with a deep kiss that was mixed with both of our silent tears. I knew the reality of what happened, of what almost happened, would hit us hard at a later point, and we would need one another to get through it.
“We’re here, Ina,” JJ said as the truck rolled to a stop. “D’ye know the plot number?”
“No,” I answered. “Finn just said that he was buried here. It’s a really small graveyard, so it’ll be easy to find a newly dug grave. If he was buried here a couple of months ago, the soil will still be turned over and risen.”
Dante helped me out of his truck because I felt a little weak. My body was shaking with adrenaline, and I knew it was shock. I threaded my fingers through Dante’s and held him tightly.
