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“I’d love to go home!”
“I don’t think she realises she’s shoutin’.”
“I’ve gathered that. Thanks, Lil.”
“See ye next week, newbie.”
I turned my head, and Lilly was gone like the magician she was.
“Can ye believe that I have boobies?” I quizzed Dante, staring up at his swaying face. “Look at them, all jiggly and cute.”
I pulled my blouse from its tucked position in my skirt, pulled it up, my bra too, to show Dante my boobies, and he suddenly shouted and yanked my clothing back in place. I nodded, understanding what he was doing. My boobies were too cute for him. Looking directly at them would have killed him. My nipples would’ve taken care of that. Milk wasn’t the only thing they were capable of shooting.
“Sweetheart.” Dante cradled me against him. “Let’s get ye home, okay? Ye need to sleep that devil’s brew off.”
That sounded like a fucking fantastic idea.
“I can’t believe I have toes,” I said as we walked in slow motion. “Ninety-seven of them. It’s incredible. They fall off every night and grow back in the mornin’ ’cause I’m a non-binary lesbian witch with a cookin’ show. I have a lot of debt because of it.”
Dante was shaking. “What the fuck did she put in that brew, specs?”
He was laughing at me, and I knew it was because I was a famous comedian, so I said nothing. I let him laugh instead of killing him.
“I have the tingles,” I announced so the man in America could hear me. “In me fanny!”
Dante choked as a chorus of laughter reached my ears.
“Bro, I thought she was at a knittin’ club?”
“Holy fuck, what’d Lilly do to her? She’s legless.”
I looked down and saw I still had all six of my legs, so I didn’t know what the gnomes were talking about.
“I’m starvin’, but I don’t want anythin’ to eat.”
“Okay,” Dante answered me. “How about we get into me truck instead? I’ll sit in the back with ye while Harls drives. How does that sound?”
“Like a fuckin’ plan, Captain Big Dick!”
Male laughter surrounded me, so I began to give Dante a lap dance.
“In the car! Fuck. JJ, get in the back with me. I don’t know if I can control her.”
“I want ye to control me,” I continued to dance. “Smack me arse, pull me hair, and bite me.”
“Jesus, Ina.”
It sounded like Harley’s voice that spoke, but I wasn’t sure. I was seeing three Dantes, so maybe one of them was really Harley. I looked around and found myself inside a vehicle. I was nestled between two big men and gasped with shock.
“I have two husbands!”
“The fuck ye do,” a voice from my right growled. “Ye’ve one man, me.”
I turned my head and frowned. “Why can’t I have two? I’d like two.”
“Country.” Dante gave me a roguish grin. “Ye can barely handle me.”
I nodded because that was true.
“How are ye feelin’, Ina?”
“Like we’re gonna win this election!” I whooped. “I’m gonna be queen of this country, and then I’m gonna sell it to the man on the moon, so I can buy a house with two bedrooms!”
That was way more than three!
“Nice.”
“Dante”—I turned my head—“can I ride ye?”
Choked sounds filled the truck.
“Baby,” Dante said as he reached over and unbuckled the constraints that held me still. “Let’s nap, okay? Come rest against me.”
“Nope, I wanna fuck. I wanna bounce on your big cock and come until I black out. Let me see your cock. I wanna suck it. Ye said I was a good cocksucker, so lemme suck it. Sucky, sucky, sucky.”
I tried my hardest to get into Dante’s trousers, but his hands kept knocking mine away. It all happened in slow motion, though I didn’t have any clue why. I stuck my tongue out of the side of my mouth as I concentrated.
“Are we dead?” I asked, pausing my dick-riding mission. “Is this heaven? Can I fuck you in heaven? I hope so. I wanna ride ye. Bounce on your big cock. Bounce, bounce, bounce.”
I heard laughter, probably from the angels. I turned my head and looked at one who was sitting next to Dante. He appeared out of nowhere, a definite angel.
“You’re the most beautiful angel.” I smiled at him. “I love you.”
The man’s face broke into a dazzling smile. “Love you too, honey.”
My head was turned from the angels to Dante, and I beamed.
“Let’s fuck!”
He groaned. “Sweetheart, ye need to sleep.”
“No, me fanny wants your cock … give it to me. Now.”
I looked to my right when the angel barked out a laugh, and I laughed right along with him, which he found hilarious.
“Ye know what?”
“What?”
I yawned. “Ye look like JJ.”
“Do I now?”
“Yep. Your picture is in the clubhouse.”
He froze. “What?”
“In the Knit Happens clubhouse,” I explained. “I’m a member now, so I get inside the clubhouse. I pledged meself to be a knitter and took the blood oath. Your picture is on the wall, so is Dante’s and Harley’s and Gavin’s and Mr Collins’, too.” I giggled. “The Slater brothers, too. All shirtless. Mary says we touch them for good luck before we knit and crochet. It’s a ritual.”
