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“Jules,” I say her name, and it almost comes out like it used to, need and care woven through each letter of her name.
“What do you want, Remington?” She whirls around on me, fire in her blue orbs. “Did you stay back to taunt me some more? What could you possibly have to say that you didn’t already?” I’m taken aback by her anger, by the sadness she emits. Give me her fire, her fear, any day, but sadness, no, I don’t want her fucking sadness.
“No. I just wanted to talk. I’m sorry about that back there.” Her eyebrows lift in surprise.
“Sorry…wow…” She seems as taken aback by my apology as I am.
“I just wanted to talk…wanted to…” The words hang between us. I don’t actually know what I wanted to do. I hadn’t thought this far ahead.
“What do you want to talk about? How to torment me the best? Get me in trouble? Yell at me? Blame me for your own fucking problems?”
Her response pisses me off. If she’s looking for a verbal fight, she’s seconds from getting one.
“Watch it, Jules. I can and will still crush you. Don’t take my kindness for weakness.” I say the words even though I know I’ll never be able to follow through with them. Finding out about her brother changed something inside me. It lessened the fucking hate I have for her somehow.
She shakes her head, and I want to grab onto her and pull her into my chest, whether to hug her or crush her to death, I haven’t decided yet.
“You know what, Remington? I’ve come to the conclusion that you’re beyond saving. The person I used to know, the man that never would’ve taken from me, or hurt me, no longer lives inside of you, and that’s sad, so fucking sad.”
My nostrils flare and I feel the fury brewing inside me like a storm whipping across the plains. She knows just what to say to set me off.
“I should’ve fucking known talking to you was a mistake. You’re nothing but a fucking ice queen.” I shake my head, but I can’t seem to dislodge her stupid fucking words.
“Yup, cold as fuck…” She walks up to me and I have half a mind to grab her, to force her to listen to me. “And all because of one fucking boy who ruined me.”
“Ruined you?” I laugh, and this time, I do grab her. She gasps as my hand circles around her arm and I push her forcefully against the brick exterior wall. Then I cage her with my body, making certain she can’t escape me. She looks like a damn doe caught in the headlights of a car that’s seconds away from taking her life.
I lean into her face, hating how intoxicating she is, the way that my body reacts to hers. I hate that even after all this time she still has power over me.
“All I was doing was being nice, and you had to go and be a bitch…” My eyes move to her throat. I can see her quickening pulse. Is she scared?
“No, you weren’t trying to be nice. You were trying to get me in trouble. You were being a heartless prick.”
I pull back, one of my already clenched fists tightening as anger pumps through my veins.
“Don’t turn this around on me,” I croak.
“Why not?” She tilts her head, somehow gaining the strength to smile, and I want to hurt her. I want to hurt her as she hurt me. “All the choices you made in your life led to this very moment, Remmy. They all lead to this. You’re trying to blame me because you can’t handle that you are the one responsible for your own life. You chose this.”
And just like, that she’s provoking me, pushing me over the edge, mixing the already out of control fire with gasoline, making the flames bigger, the fire roar. I raise my fist and slam it into the wall right beside her head. The pain of the hit vibrates up my arm, making my teeth rattle inside my head. I’m seething now, my nostrils flare, and I sneer, staring down at the once strong woman who now looks like she might piss her pants.
“Do you want to see me lose control? Do you want me to hurt you?” I barely get the words out. Why does she have this much control over me? I slam my fist against the brick wall again, and she flinches like I might hit her.
Would I? The thought terrifies me and for a moment all I see is me losing my cool with her, me putting my fucking hands on her. I want to hurt her…but not like that… Seeing the fear in her eyes makes me pull away. I want her fear but not this way and within seconds, she’s scurrying away, leaving me in the same spot she left me the other night.
