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“What do you know about relationships? I haven’t seen you date a woman since—” My words cut off. His hands tighten on the steering wheel and for a moment, I think Sebastian might be angry. It’s very rare that you see him mad, mad enough to snap.
“You’re right. Dating isn’t really my thing, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t know what I’m talking about. I know my brother. I know you. I know that you both are still very much in love with each other. He just needs to let go of the past, let go of what you did to him.”
My head snaps to the side. “What I did?” I’m kind of angry now. “I didn’t do anything. My parents forced me to move. I wanted to try and make things work…as friends. I didn’t know he wanted to be together like that, we hadn’t talked about it yet.”
But we often acted as a couple, at least now that I think back on it. There were many times when I thought we would be more, but we never actually went further than some innocent kisses and I know that was all mostly my own doing.
I was afraid…of love, of falling for my best friend.
“He wanted you, even then, hell even now. It was always you, Jules, and it will forever be you. The heart wants what the heart wants, and Remmy wants you.”
“He couldn’t have fooled me with the way he’s been acting.”
I know Sebastian isn’t lying. It was very clear to me that Remington wanted something more, but I was always so afraid of losing him as a friend that I tried to ignore it. He never went on dates, or even out with his guy friends and when he did, he always brought me with. Up until the day I left, we were best friends, and deep down, I knew we were in love. But I still didn’t understand how in his eyes this ended up being all my fault.
As soon as we pull into the subdivision, everything inside me starts to twist. My heart hurts, my lungs won’t fill with air. I don’t know what the hell is happening, but I want it to stop. Sebastian’s face fills with concern as he looks between me and the road.
“Are you sure you’re okay, Jules?” I can’t answer him. I don’t know what to say. I’m okay, but am I really okay?
“I’m just nervous. I don’t want to make anyone mad or ruin your Sunday dinner. I know how important these things are to you guys.”
Sebastian gives me a knowing grin. “It’ll be fine. Dad is so excited to see you, I think he just about had a heart attack when I told him you were coming.”
I playfully punch him in the arm. “Don’t say that.”
“What? He did…I was actually worried, and then he started talking again and I knew he was fine.” We both laugh, and then the laughter ceases when we pull into the driveway.
Sebastian puts the SUV in park and kills the engine. I stare at the house. The large brick house looks the same as it did the day I left, the outside still the same natural stone, the door the same dark cream color. There’s even a weathered welcome sign stuck to the garage. The cracks in the driveway are still there, it’s the same driveway I colored with chalk on so many years ago. The memories this place holds almost bring me to tears.
“Everything will be fine. It’s just dinner.”
I know it’s just dinner, but is it really? At the end of the day, this is Remington’s family, not mine. The sound of a door opening catches my attention and I realize Sebastian is already getting out of the car.
Shit. This is it. The moment where I put a target on my back again. I climb out of the car. My legs are shaky, the nervous knot inside my belly unraveling, leaving a trail of fear behind. I walk around the car where Sebastian is waiting for me.
“I’m nervous,” I blurt out right as his hand grabs onto mine.
“Don’t be. I’ll kick his ass if he says anything.” I give him a weak smile, and together we walk up the driveway and to the front door. Sebastian doesn’t knock, he twists the knob and opens the door. As soon as the door opens, I’m pulled back in time to one of the many memories I shared with Remington in this house.
Opening the sliding glass door, I tiptoe into the house. Remington. That’s who I need right now. I know Papa Miller isn’t home, he’s on a business trip which means Alexander would be watching over his brothers if he was even home. Remmy said that he went to a lot of parties.
