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Tonight I’ll have to pretend, to care about my father, about his colleges, about the stupid country club.
“Are you sure you’re okay? If you don’t want me to go—”
“No,” I interrupt her before she can finish, the word coming out more like a yell. She jumps a little in her seat, her big blue eyes going wide. Forcing myself to soften my voice and let go of some of the tension in my muscles, I reach across the seat and take her hand into mine.
“No, I want you here. It’s not you. You being here tonight is literally the only thing I’m looking forward to. Matter of fact, you are what I look forward to every day. I want to be with you all the time, Em.”
“You say that now, but you don’t know… you don’t know everything yet.”
“Nothing you tell me will scare me away. You can tell me everything when you are ready to talk about it. Right now, I know all I need to. I want to be with you, for real, no pretend. I know you are scared, but you don’t have to be. You won’t lose me. Ever.”
“Clark…”
“I’m begging you to give me a chance. Never in my life have I had to work so hard for a date.” Slightly frustrated, I park the truck in the parking lot of the country club, the drive taking far less time then I wanted it to.
Turning in the seat, Emerson stares at me, one second, then two, then another. I’m pretty sure I’ve scared her away. Fucking Christ. I clench my hand into a fist. I really want to punch the steering wheel right now, but I know that won’t make her want me anymore.
“I’m not like the other girls you’ve been with. There are things you don’t know, things that, when you…when you find them out, I doubt you’ll look at me the same.”
I can’t help my reaction to what she’s just said. “I don’t know for sure what happened, but I’ve drawn my own conclusions and nothing anyone else did to you without your consent would ever change my opinion of you. If you don’t want me then…”
The air in the cab of the truck is too thick, combined with the tux it feels like I’m burning up. I’ve got to get out of here. Reaching for the door handle, I open it, the cool evening air kissing my clammy skin.
“I want you, Clark, but I don’t think you’ll want me when you find out the truth.”
“You want me? That’s all I need to know. Just say yes. Give this a real shot, give us a chance.” I sound like I’m begging and maybe I am, but I don’t care at this point. If all it takes is for me to get down on my knees than I’ll do that too. Whatever it takes.
“Okay,” she whispers so quietly I almost don’t catch it.
“Okay?”
“Okay, we’ll give this a real shot,” she confirms and all I can do is lean over and kiss her. I go from being frustrated and angry to sitting on cloud nine in all of five seconds. Getting out of the truck, I jog around to the passenger side to help her out.
Clasping onto her hand, I close the truck door and lock it. Every businessperson and partner of my fathers will be here tonight, including Emerson’s dad. If I get the chance, I should talk to him. From the sound of things, Emerson doesn’t have all that good of a relationship with her father, and she’s never mentioned her mother.
“I’m a little nervous,” she admits as we walk across the already packed parking lot the ballet flats she’s wearing barely making a sound. Stopping mid-step, I pull her into my arms and stare down at her. Fuck I could stare at her all day.
“Don’t be. If anyone says something stupid or treats you poorly, we’ll leave. You don’t need to subject yourself to that anymore.” I don’t mean to sound like I’m lecturing her, but I want her to understand that she doesn’t have to stand there and take what people say about her.
Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, but not everyone shows theirs off for the world to see.
She worries her pink plump bottom lip with her teeth. “What if I have an anxiety attack? Or Sarah is here? Or one of your other exes?” I can see the thoughts compounding in her head, stacking up like bricks and I can’t let her go there, to that dark place that she hides to protect herself from fears that aren’t real or don’t matter.
Releasing her hand, I take her face into my hands and swipe my thumbs gently across her cheeks. Then I lean into her face bringing my lips close to hers. Her eyes dilate, and her breath hitches. She’s still with me, good.
