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“Well, Forrest Gump and The Green Mile are out. They’re both ugly cry movies.”
“Cast Away it is then,” he announces and pops the movie into the DVD player next to the large flat screen TV.
“I’ve never done this before…” I mumble, picking at the hem of my t-shirt.
“What, moved in with a stranger or watched a movie?”
“Well, both, I guess. Though I was talking about watching a movie part. I mean I’ve watched a movie before obviously, just not with someone…and especially not a boy.”
“I’m not a boy,” he responses cheekily and I instantly regret saying anything. I don’t know why I said it in the first place. I should just keep my mouth shut. I don’t want him to think I’m flirting with him, but it’s hard because even in the short time I’ve been around him I’ve already become comfortable with having him here.
We start watching the movie, neither one of us saying anything else until the doorbell rings about thirty minutes into the movie, causing me to jump about three inches off the couch.
“It’s just the pizza guy,” Clark says as he gets up and pulls out his wallet before heading for the stairs. Five minutes later he returns carrying two pizza boxes and two soda cans.
“I was going to ask you what you wanted to drink, but then I figured you wouldn’t care, so I brought you a Sprite.” He passes the soda to me and sets the pizza boxes down between us.
“Thank you, Sprite is perfect.” Of course he isn’t wrong, I would have been fine with whatever he’d brought me.
“Why are you so scared all the time?” His question catches me off guard. Not that I didn’t expect him to ask eventually. I just never expected it to be so soon. I’ve been asked the same question many times before and I always give the same answer, because the truth, the real reason is a lot darker, scarier, and something no one wants to hear.
“I just have really bad anxiety and I scare easy, that’s all,” I expel the familiar words, knowing before I even finish saying them that Clark is not going to be satisfied with that answer. He might not ask me for more today, but something tells me that he won’t let this go. He’s not the type to overlook something, he’s a digger, and the last thing I want is him digging up all my secrets.
I don’t understand why but he wants to know me, all of me and that scares me. It scares me so very much, because the secrets I’m keeping, the things that live inside me are dark. No one has ever asked to hear about my past or wanted to dissect my secrets. Clark’s everything that I’m not, popular, a jock, funny, and flirtatious.
What does he want with me?
“You don’t actually expect me to believe that, do you?” His response pushes against the walls I’ve built around myself, the walls that keep everything inside. I shrug as he flips the pizza boxes open. I grab a slice of the sausage, realizing then just how hungry I am. When was the last time I ate? I can’t even remember.
“One thing you’ll come to learn about me, Em, is that I don’t bullshit.” Em? So now he’s got a nickname for me.
“I’m not lying.” At least not fully.
Clark’s hazel eyes narrow, and I swear he can see right through me, see deep inside me. Underneath all my layers.
“I’ll let it go for now because I don’t want to push you, but I think something happened. Something bad happened to you and you are scared of it happening again.”
My throat tightens at his words, causing me to damn near choke on the bite of pizza I took. I can feel the familiar sting of tears in my eyes, but I blink them away. I can’t let him know how much it means to hear him say what he just said.
It’s taken him five minutes to figure me out when people I’ve known my entire life still haven’t. Instead of confirming or denying what he’s said I take another bite of pizza, and then another. I’m nearly finished with the first slice when I realize Clark is already on his third piece. He ends up eating six pieces while I’m full after two. The greasy goodness settling heavily in my belly. I wash it down with a sip of Sprite and then yawn, the day’s events finally catching up with me.
When I’m done with my soda as well, I scoot back in the corner of the sectional and make myself comfortable, pulling my legs up and leaning my head against the back of the couch.
I notice my eyes growing heavier toward the end of the movie, but I forced them to stay open. I don’t want to fall asleep down here, but I’m also not ready to go to my room. So I continue fighting sleep, fighting it until I can’t anymore until I lose…
