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“How so?” he asks, the tenor of his voice lowering. He’s so close I can smell him and the deep musk of his cologne. It’s expensive and smacks of riches stolen not earned. Fakery. I wonder what his real smell is like beneath the heady aftershave he’s wearing. “Why do I confuse you, Asia?” he persists, crowding me more. Spikes of fear and… excitement run amok inside my chest.Fuck sake.
“Every time Monk hurts me or tries to, you’ve stepped in… Why?” I grit my teeth and force myself to look into his eyes. My throat constricts as he stares down at me.
“Asia…” he whispers, bowing his head so that it’s only inches from mine
“Yet you let him try and hurt me time and again. I don’t understand. Be my enemy or be my friend, you can’t be both. You can’t straddle the line, one whichyoudrew in the sand, not me,” I remind him.
“I think you’ll find that was you forcing my hand.”
He leans forward suddenly, invading my space further. His chest heaves, but not from the running. There’s emotion in his eyes, so much emotion; anger, fear, lust. All of it swirling, I’m not sure what I’m going to be left with. I wait. It’s like watching the reels on a fruit machine turn, waiting for three of the same to hit the fucking jackpot.
Eventually he blinks, and just like that all the emotion is gone, replaced instead with that look I’ve become accustomed to. Blank, uninterested. He steps back, but I won’t let him get away with this bullshit. Not today. Today, I’m done. Mr Burnside tried to pry me open with his gifts and promises and words. I needaction. Camden is a man of action, even if it’s the kind I have to defend myself from. At least I know where I stand with that. I don’t know where I stand when he looks at me the way he just did.
“What do you fuckingwant, Camden? You hate me, then protect me. You turn a blind eye when your crew disrespect me, but study me when you think I don’t notice. You chase me, but don’t hurt me. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME?”
Something seems to snap inside him. I see it behind his eyes, I can almost hear it crack.
“Fuck!” Camden growls, grabbing my arm with lightning fast speed then yanking me against his chest. With the other hand he grasps the back of my head, cupping it roughly. One word slips from his lips before his mouth crashes against mine: “This.”
The kiss is rough, quick, overpowering,devastatingand over before it’s really begun. Camden steps back, the muscles in his arms taught, the sinews jutting out against his dark skin.
“You bastard,” I spit. “How fuckingdareyou!” I’m so angry. I hold onto that, because if I don’t I might just step back into his arms and kiss him back and that I won’t do.Can’t.
“Just claiming what’s mine.”
“I’m not yours, Camden. I turned you down, remember?”
“Yes, you are,” he insists, anger blazing in his eyes now.
“I don’t belong to anyone, just like you don’t belong to anyone either,” I remind him.
“Belonging to someone and beingownedare two very different things,” he responds quietly, and for a moment I’m pretty sure he isn’t talking about me, but about himself.
We stare at each other, neither of us willing to step away, caught somehow in this dangerous attraction.
“Back the fuck off, Camden.”
Camden twists on his feet at the same time I step out from behind him. Ford is staring at us both like he’s about to commit murder. Had he seen us kiss? Correction, had he seen Camden kiss me? I most definitely didnotkiss him back.
“Or what?” Camden taunts.
“You know exactly what I’m capable of. Do you want a repeat of what happened that night in Grim?” Ford steps forward, his fists clenched. Camden does too.
Oh, fuck. Here we go. They can’t fight here, not on school grounds. Not like this.
“Stop it. Stop! Not here.” I shout, getting in between them.
I’m tired of this shit. My head is all over the fucking place. This day has gone from bad to fucking worse. I press the flat of my hands against both of their chests. Beneath my palms their hearts battle for my attention with the thudding and the pounding. Anger oozes from them both and perhaps something more, ownership, jealousy? Maybe both?
“Why? Let’s deal with this once and for all. Right here, right now,” Ford snaps. I see the violence in him then. I feel it in the tremor of his body beneath my hand. It’s a thousand times more powerful than Camden’s. That surprises me.
“No. I’m done today. No more.” I grit my teeth, trying not to let my emotions get the better of me. Mr Burnside successfully dragged out unwanted emotions and memories, and now Camden has had the audacity to kiss me, leaving me reeling. The violence pouring off Ford is too much. I don’t need to bear witness to this fight. I don’t.
“I’mdonetoday,” I repeat.
“Who are you protecting right now, him or me?” Camden asks, glaring at me.
“Neither,” I snap, refusing to be drawn into the argument.Both, I think. But why? I should let Ford kick the shit out of Camden. I should, and yet I don’t want to.
