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“Until I met Asia, I kept these scars hidden. If she hadn’t walked in on me that day I was training in the outhouse, I may never have had the courage to let her see. When I fought at the club I always wore a top. When I was with Sapphire not once did I show her these scars, and it wasn’t because I thought she’d be disgusted by them but because I wasashamed. I was ashamed by the fact that I allowed my parents to burn me with their cigarettes. I was ashamed to admit that they beat me, that they saw fit to tattoo this into my chest,” he says, pointing at the crude tattoo on his collarbone. “I’m showing you them now because these scars, this tattoo are the evidence of my weakness.”
“Ford, you were just a child,” I say, gently. “You weren’t weak because you didn’t fight back. How could you? What you did was survive, that shows a great deal of strength. Maybe more strength than any of us could claim we have.”
“Jesus. I’m sorry, Ford. You don’t need to go on, man,” Eastern mutters, releasing me as I stand. I want to go to Ford. I need to, but he holds his hand up, halting me in my tracks.
“I need to finish,” he says to me, there’s an edge to his voice, a vulnerability I’ve never heard before.
“Okay,” I nod, waiting.
“I joined Grim Fight Club when I was twelve, looking for some way to fight back, against my past, against that weakness that I believed lived within me. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to be like the men who fought there. Grim welcomed me in, not knowing who I was. She saw something in me no one else did. She saw that strength you mentioned, Asia. She saw the man I could become and so she allowed me to train with her fighters, with her. A few weeks in we found out that we shared the same mum. Grim’s father took her a few weeks after she was born and never allowed her to return into the arms of that bitch. I’m glad she wasn’t damaged by my mum like I was.”
“How fucking lucky for you. At least you still have your sister. Mine was fucking ripped away from me,” Camden stands, his hands balled into fists.
“You’re right. Iamlucky. Lucky to have found her, to have found a family with a bunch of men broken by their pasts and put back together again with blood, sweat and tears. We have a bond us fighters and I won’t apologise for it.”
“And who’s going to apologise for my sister?”
“I am. I. AM,” he repeats, bashing his fist against his chest. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Camden. I will regret bringing Sapphire to the club every day for the rest of my life. It was no place for her, and I know it’s not an excuse, but I wanted her to see that I was strong enough. I wanted to prove to her that I wasn’t that scared kid who let his parents beat him, burn him, terrify him. IlovedSapphire and I’m so fucking sorry I wasn’t able to protect her.” He hangs his head, his body trembling with the effort of holding himself together.
“So, why the fuck didn’t you? Why didn’t youwin?”
“Because the man I was fighting was the Beast…”
“AND?” Camden roars.
“And if I didn’t throw the fight the King would’ve killed him. Ihadto let him win to save his life.”
“Why? Why the fuck would you save some stranger’s life?” Camden yells.
“Because I asked him to, because Beast is the manIlove, and I couldn’t see him die just to satisfy the whim of a man I loathe. It was never about the money Camden. It was always about love.”
We all turn to face the open doorway. Stepping into the room is an attractive woman with long brown hair, shaved on one side. An intricate rose tattoo snakes up her neck and over her collarbone. She’s in her mid-twenties, but her eyes hold a lifetime of experience that only a woman twice her age should have experienced. Behind her is an attractive man I don’t recognise with dark hair and deep blue eyes that assess me quickly. He nods, acknowledging me. I’m guessing he must be the illusive Hudson.
“Now you know, Cam. I threw the fight to save the Beast so that my sister didn’t have to see the man she loved killed by the man we all fucking hate. I did it for Grim because she took in a broken kid and taught me how to be strong. I owed her and now I owe you. Sapphire’s death is the biggest wound I endure. I deserve its existence. I can’t bring Sapphire back, but I can have your back for the rest of my shitty life. It’s all I have to offer. It's all I have.”
Camden pushes past Grim and Hudson. This time I don’t follow, this time I walk into Ford’s open arms and give him the kind of affection he’s been starved of his whole life.
Gripping hold of him tightly, I press a kiss against the tattoo on his collarbone. “You’ve never been, nor will youeverbe a bad boy. You’re the complete opposite, you’regood. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise,” I whisper against his skin.
He just holds me tighter.
