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“Shit, Asia. You’re fucking cool and all, but you’re not really my type.” Pink laughs. “I’m talking about Camden. The guy’s fucking losing his shit over you.”
“Hmm… well, we won’t talk abouthim.” Kate scowls. I wince. Knowing that she dislikes Camden so much makes me feel worse given what I’ve got to do.
“Oh, I don’t know. There’s something about Camden, right Asia?” Pink muses. Kate gives her a shove, and I just lower my head avoiding their probing stares.
“This is a nightmare…” I mumble, and frankly so much worse than even they understand. If it was just me having to choose between the lads, then I think I could handle that.
Probably.
Maybe.
But it isn’t just that. It’s so much more. Why the fuck is my life always so complicated?
“Well whatever you decide you’re going to need to make a decision sooner rather than later. This place is tough enough to deal with, let alone this love shape you’ve got yourself into,” Pink remarks, blowing out a stream of bluish smoke.
“Love shape?” Kate frowns, giving Pink a confused look.
“Well, it’s not a love triangle is it? It’s not even a love square…” she muses, tapping her chin. “I know, a love pentagon!”
“Fuck off, Pink,” I groan, dragging on the skinny cigarette and watching the ash form in one long line. I catch it before it falls. See, one toke and it’s gone. Total waste of time.
“Do you want my advice?” Pink asks before proceeding to give it anyway. “You need to make a list of all the reasons why you like each of them. Whoever’s got the most is the one you choose. Simple.”
Kate snorts, clearly unimpressed.
“What? It’s all I’ve got,” Pink grouses.
“How about you don’t choose just yet… figure out how you really feel. No one said you have to make any of them your boyfriend. If they really like you like they seem to do, then they’ll wait whilst you decide,” Kate adds, always the voice of reason.
“Why choose at all?” I mutter, remembering how it felt to lay between Sonny and Ford the night of the fight. They didn’t seem to mind then, perhaps they’ll be open to accepting Eastern too? Oh, Jesus, now what am I thinking?
“Did you just saywhy choose? As in have them all?” Pink’s mouth drops open in shock. “Why you greedy little cow,” she adds with an amused laugh.
“It’s not a bad idea…” Kate remarks quietly. Both Pink and I snap our heads around to look at her. Now her cheeks are blushing furiously. Glad I’m not the only one who’s finding this conversation beyond awkward.
“You sound like you have some experience in the ‘not choosing’ department,” Pink says, her eyes sparkling with the gossip she’s desperate to draw out of Kate.
“Fuck no. I don’t have any experience at all. Managing one guy was hard enough,” she mutters, her voice cracking a little.
“Wanna talk about it?” Pink ask, ever perceptive.
“No. No, I don’t.” Kate shuts down like she always does, clamming up, pushing us away.
“It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m not here to get a boyfriend. I really don’t need the complication.” And I really, really don’t. I’m only just getting my head around my true feelings for Eastern, let alone how I feel about the rest of them. “This term has been difficult enough.”
“It’s too late for that,” Pink says, as she flicks her cigarette butt out of the open window. “Looks like two of your complications are on their way here now.”
“What?” Kate stands, peering over Pink’s shoulder. She glances at me, pulling a face. “Afraid she’s right, Asia. Maybe honesty’s the best policy?”
Hell no, I think. In this case, honesty is not the best policy. Honesty would get me and Eastern into a whole heap of shit. If I tell Sonny and Ford what I’ve agreed to do then I could risk everyone’s safety. I don’t know either of them well enough to know whether they’d sell me out. I don’t think they would. But regardless, I can’t allow my heart to rule my head. What happened in that office and the agreement I made stays between Eastern, me and the adults in the room. Protecting my family is my priority now.
Chewing on my lip ring, I look between Pink and Kate. “I’ll do what you suggested, Pink, and make a list. Then I’ll wait. Figure out how I feel.”
“Sounds like a good plan,” Kate says, giving me a reassuring smile. “You’ll make the right choice, Asia.”
I nod, biting down on the truth that I so want to share with them both but can’t. I wonder how Kate and Pink will feel after I join Camden’s crew. I hope they’ll still be my friends…
Fuck, who am I trying to kid? They’ll hate me just as much as Ford and Sonny will.
