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5
Present day
“Eastern, please, no more!” I laugh hysterically clutching my stomach. “Seriously, if I go on that rollercoaster one more time I might puke up the three hamburgers, tub of popcorn and that huge bloody candy floss I just ate. I’m not willing to let go of all that junk food goodness.”
Eastern grins widely, his face lit up with mirth. “We’ve only been on it three times, Asia. Where’d your balls go? I thought you were tougher than this.”
I punch him on the arm, grinning mercilessly when he winces. “I’m a girl, remember? And this girl’s balls are inside her body. They’re calledovaries. You should’ve paid more attention in Biology class, you dickhead.”
“Come here,” he smirks, tugging at my arm and folding me into his chest. His hand slides under my backpack, resting on my lower back, whilst my heart starts jackhammering in my chest after only just recovering from the thrill of the ride.
“Want me to rub your tummy better?” he mutters, the smile evident in his voice as he presses his lips against the top of my head.
“Do I look like a cat?” I respond with a laugh, grinning up at him, then instantly groan when I see the mischievous glint in his eyes. Pretty sure I can see stars in them too, or maybe that’s just the reflection of the lights. I wonder if mine look the same. His mouth pops open, a pussy joke right there on the tip of his tongue. I walked right into that one. “On second thoughts don’t answer that!”
He cocks his head as though seriously considering whether I am indeed feline, then smiles slowly, like a cat that’s got the cream.Oh, fuck.
“Follow me,” he says, twining his fingers with mine and tugging me away from the rollercoaster and deeper into the funfair.
“This is going to be bad for my health, I can tell,” I mutter.
Eastern doesn’t respond but I can feel the depth of his chuckle as it vibrates down his arm and disperses between us. He’s always been playful; now that playfulness has transformed into full-on flirtation. I like it. I like the way it makes me feel.
As we walk through the crowd, nerves flutter inside my chest. Around us, the air smells of sweet things and smoky meat grilled on barbecues underlined with the distinct briny scent of the sea that I’ve come to love. Colourful lights sparkle above the stalls and around the rides, so much brighter now that the sky is dark. Children’s laughter can be heard above the screams and the chatter, and the tinkly music coming from the rides. Everyone is smiling. This feeling inside my chest, thishappinessis a natural high I could get used to.
“Where are we going?” I ask, biting on my lip ring. Nerves and excitement battling for attention. I’ve never been nervous around Eastern until recently. It’s a new feeling I don’t quite know how to manage. Sarcasm and humour seem to be helping though.
Eastern glances at me, noticing my nervousness. “Somewhere we can be alone of course. Pretty sure my favourite pussy wants privacy when being stroked.” He winks, grinning salaciously. I know he’s just teasing, but my stomach does a summersault regardless. I bark out a laugh to cover up my sudden lust-filled thoughts, and glance away when I feel his intent stare. Would I stop him if he tried to touch me that way? I’m not sure that I would. Ever since that kiss we shared in Mr Carmichaels office I’ve wanted more. Circumstance, lack of time and family commitments over these past couple of weeks haven’t really allowed for that. Eastern stops suddenly, pulling me between the back of two stalls.
“Youwantme to stroke… I mean touch you?” he asks, a thread of nervousness filtering into his voice, darkening his brown eyes with lust. He bows his head lower, a flop of unruly hair falling forward as he inches closer. I think he’s about to kiss me and my body seems to move of its own accord as I step closer to him.
“Your hair is a pretty shade of red in this light,” he observes, capturing a few strands between his thumb and forefinger. The gentle tug on my hair has my scalp prickling.
“So is yours, kinda like molten chocolate with golden threads,” I muse, laughing lightly at my flowery response as I push back that flop of hair. He chuckles, drawing me closer. Should I really be encouraging him given I still haven’t told him about Sonny and Ford, or Camden…? Can’t forget him.
“Eastern…” I fumble, my cheeks blushing as the surrounding noise of the fair seems to be drowned out by the thumping of my pulse and the rush of blood beneath my skin.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle,” he murmurs.
“OY! You two get going! This ain’t no kissing booth!”
We jump apart, startled out of the moment as a mean looking guy with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth glares at us both from his stall.
“Piss off and find somewhere else to snog!” he continues.
Eastern grabs my hand, laughter bubbling up out of his mouth as he pulls me away. Drawing me into his side once again, we traverse through the crowd.
“That was close,” I laugh.
“We should’ve just given him an eyeful. I should be able to kiss my girl wherever and whenever I want.”
My girl? Fuck. I want to be his girl so much but those ugly feelings of guilt creep back in and try to ruin the moment. I push them away. I know I should tell him about Sonny and Ford, but I can’t just yet. Instead, I allow him to wrap his arm around my shoulder, settling me into his side. I feel safe there. Happy. My best friend who’s always been by my side is now both familiar and alien all at the same time. As we walk in companionable silence, I let this new feeling swell inside my chest. Today, I’m letting the happiness in. Up until this moment, I used to think that happiness was an overrated emotion. I mean, when you spend most of your life miserable and on edge it kinda comes as a shock when you finally feel happy.
Truly happy.
Not the fake smiles on social media kind of happy, where behind the wide toothy grins and pouts are anxiety and false truths. No, right in this moment I feel a kind of happiness that feeds my soul, that makes me feel alive. For the first time in my life I can be the teenager I’ve always wanted to be, rather than the adult in a teenager’s body trying to juggle with life’s disappointments. I can honestly say that these past couple of hours have been my happiest yet. Part of that makes me feel a little sad given it’s only taken seventeen years to feel this way, the other part is justgrateful.
Grateful to have my best friend by my side.
