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“Ford got into some shit over the break. Realfucked upshit with Camden. The pair fought at Grim Fight Club. Things are gonna get bad, Asia. Like apocalyptic, end of the world, zombie bad. Hackney’s Hackers are gunning for Ford, and with his own crew down in numbers, he’s a walking target.”
“Fuck,” I exclaim.
“They have history, Ford and Camden. It was bad enough after shit went down before. Now, now they’re at war.”
“I know, Camden told me.”
“Wait, what do you mean Camden told you?” Sonny’s eyes darken with distrust. Not for me, no, this distrust is directed at Camden. “What has that motherfucker said?”
I chew on my lip ring, biting on it as I decide what move to make next. Do I tell him? Do I tell Sonny what Camden told me about Sapphire? Maybe he already knows. Maybe it was a lie and Camden had made it up after all, just to get me on his side?
Fuck. No, he didn’t.
No one can look the way Camden did without feeling soul-shattering loss. I know because I see the same look written across my face every time I look in the fucking mirror. My mum’s death has never left me. Just like Sapphire’s death has never left Camden. When you stare death in the face like we both have, it marks you permanently.
“What did he say to you, Asia?” Sonny insists.
“That he fought Ford before, that he lost. I’m guessing he wanted a redo,” I respond quickly, schooling my features and trying to decipher whether Sonny knows about Sapphire too, and is covering for Ford and keeping up the pretence that Ford and Camden’s history is based on a fight won and lost. Part of me is wondering why I’m even doing the same for Camden, why I feel the need to keep our conversation quiet. I’m not sure I understand it myself, but I keep my mouth shut anyway.
“You bet your arse he lost. Ford wins every fight…” Sonny’s voice trails off and the look in his eyes tells me there’s way more to this. What isn’t he saying?
“So, what’s this got to do with me?”
“It haseverythingto do with you, Asia. You were the reason for the fight. Camden challenged Ford for you. To lay claim toyou.”
“What?!”
Sonny sighs, sitting down on the bed next to me. A flop of dark blonde hair falls into his eyes that he swipes back absentmindedly. He glances at me with his pretty baby blues. “Camden turned up at Grim, challenged Ford in front of the whole club. A deal was made. The winner gets you. It’s that fucking simple. Trouble is, this time Camden fucking won.”
I can hear the disbelief in Sonny’s voice, but it’s nothing to how I’m feeling right now.Camden won?Reeling. I’m fucking reeling.
“What?”
“Camden won. Don’t ask me how the fuck that happened, but it did. He won. Ford took a pretty nasty blow to the temple and it sent him sprawling. It took me ten minutes to bring him around.”
“Wait, what?!” I feel like a goddamn parrot because my brain can’t quite understand what my voice keeps repeating.
“Camden won…” Sonny repeats slowly, the words just as confusing for him to say out loud as it is for me to hear.
“I thought you said Ford always wins…” Sonny pulls a face, opening his mouth to speak, but I interrupt him. “Actually, that’s not even the fucking point. Who the hell are they to decide whogetsme? I’m not someone they can fight over as though that entitles them to my fucking loyalty, or whatever the fuck they want.I’mthe one who damn well chooses!” Anger overrides any feelings of concern I should have given those two arseholes who thought they had a right to take matters into their own hands when it comes tomychoices in life.
“He knows that. Fordknowsthat Asia, but he couldn’t back down. Hecouldn’t. That’s not how it works, not at the club. You can’t turn your back on a challenge. Not ever, not in that place.” Sonny sighs heavily, scraping his hand over his face. I notice then he looks tired, haggard even. The guy hasn’t been sleeping, that much I know is true from the dark circles under his eyes. “Ford should’ve won, and then you’d still be free to choose. He doesn’t want to own you like Camden does. I swear it.”
“It’s not for you to swear anything, Sonny. Ford’s the one who should be telling me all this. Instead, he interrupts my date yesterday with Eastern and fucking blurts out some confusing message and expects me to get it.”
“You had a date with Eastern? Your best friend who’smore?” Sonny searches my face for answers, which frankly I don’t feel like giving him right now.
“This is all bullshit,” I bite out, ignoring Sonny’s questions. “I’mstillfree to choose. This is the twenty-first century, for fuck sake. I’m not some toy to barter with. This ismylife,mychoice. I get to decide. Me!” But deep down I know that isn’t true either. My choice was made back in Mr Carmichael’s room. I must choose Camden… And now, I don’t have to choose him, seeing as everyone thinks he’s won me. I should be glad I’ve been given an opening to join his crew.
I’m not.
Shit, none of this makes me feel glad. I feel like a pawn in a much bigger game that I don’t know the rules of, and I don’t like it. Not one fucking bit. Sonny reaches for my hand, but I get up, refusing his touch. This is royally screwed up. I have so many questions, too many questions. Why did Camden even think he could decide about my life and challenge Ford for me? Why does he want me so bad… only because Ford does? Because he wants to get back at him for his sister? And why the fuck did Ford lose when he never loses? The last time he lost Sapphiredied. Maybe that’s it. This has everything to do with Sapphire and nothing to do with me. Maybe Ford feels like he owes Camden and he’s using me as a peace offering. He can’t really give two shits about me if he’s willing to hand me over just like that. Then again his kiss yesterday told me another story altogether. Why seek me out, knowing he’s putting himself at risk of being jumped by the HH crew if he wasn’t being sincere? Fuck if I know. I’m no closer to working out Ford than I am Camden. The only person I know who actually has my back is Eastern, and I haven’t told him about any of this shit because I don’t know how to tell him I’ve kissed three other boys and let one of them finger-fuck me until I came all over his hand.
I let out a groan, holding my head in my hands.
“This is bullshit,” I repeat, not having any other words to accurately explain how I feel.
“Ford won’t let Camden have you, trust me on this.”
“If that’s the case, why did the one person who never loses, fucking lose?”
Sonny’s mouth slams shut. He doesn’t answer because he doesn’t understand it either. The only person who can tell me why is Ford, and I can’t entertain that conversation right now. Honestly, he’s made this easy for me. I have a job to do, futures to secure.
Camden won the fight, so I guess I’m part of his crew now.
