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12
Ilook at Camden, my eyes wide, my jaw clenched. Is he right? Am I a fool to trust Ford?
“This is all just a fucking game to him,” Camden continues in a hushed whisper. “He played with my sister’s life. He’s playing with yours too. He lost the fucking fight, Asia. What does that tell you?”
I look down at the piece of paper in front of me, at the word reject swimming in front of my eyes as I try to get my head straight. I feel physically sick. Has Ford thought better of the promises he made to me last term? Is Camden right?
“The guy looks out for himself.Onlyhimself,” Camden insists.
No, I refuse to believe it. Ford threw the fight for a reason. I just don’t know what that is yet.
“Asia?” Camden says, tapping the piece of paper in front of me and drawing my attention back to him. He rests his hand on the desk, his finger absentmindedly tracing along the thick black line. He has nice hands, long fingers, wide palms. I’m almost mesmerised by the way they move across the paper… how they’d feel against my skin.Shit.
“The guy’s messed up in the head,” Camden says, pulling me out of my dangerous thoughts. I look up at him, at eyes that are so fucking beautiful, they take my breath away. “He’s messing with you. He doesn’t have your back, just like he didn’t have Sapphire’s or mine. You don’t need him in your life.”
“But I suppose I need you, is that it?” I ask, tucking my hands beneath the table so I don’t do something stupid and grab him like some desperate chick. “You won the fight. Aren’t you going to claim your prize, make me a member of your crew? Isn’t that why you’re here?”
“No.”
“What?” I whisper, too taken aback to feel angry.
Camden leans close, his fingers reaching up to push a strand of hair behind my ear. The pads of his fingers brushing across my skin. I flinch under his touch not because it sickens me, but because it doesn’t. “I’m not a fucking glutton for punishment, Asia. I do have some fucking pride. We’ve been here before, you and me. So, no I don’t want you in my crew.” He drops his hand, leaning away from me.
“That was before everything you told me,” I rush out, trying not to sound too desperate, trying to claw back the upper hand. “Look, before you told me to be smart, to make the right choice. I’m choosing now.”
“And the right choice is to join my crew even though the three people who fucked you over are a part of it, even though you hate me,can’tforgive me? I don’t buy it, Asia.”
“Keep your enemies close, right?”
He laughs, moving to stand. I grab his arm.
“I’m not a fool, Camden. IknowMonk, Red and Bram will be gunning for me this term just like before, but it’s harder to shit on your own crew member. I’m a survivor. This is what I need to do to survive.” I hold my breath waiting for him to respond. This is as near to the truth as I can get. I’m not going to lie and tell him I’ve forgiven him because I haven’t. But I need to get close to him. He knows how it is on the street; join the gang or be their victim. One way or the other you’re fucked over by them. Better the devil you know. Besides, I’m doing this on my terms. Not his.
On the other side of the room I see Sonny walking out of the art store. Ros has cornered him, no doubt asking him about his ideas. She’s chatty but Sonny is paying her no attention. He’s glaring at Camden. I get the feeling that I’m not going to get another opening like this again. I need to do this right now before I back out altogether.
“Ask me again, Camden. Ask me to join your crew.”
“No.”
“No?”
“You heard me, Asia,” he says, gathering up the items on the table, “I think I’ll sit over there.”
You’ve got to be fucking shitting me!This is not what I intended. He’s rejectingmenow, how fucking apt. Swallowing my pride and my self-respect I stand, clutching hold of him again. He tenses beneath my touch. “Wait.”
He looks down at me. His topaz eyes filled with both an icy distrust and a fiery passion. Two warring emotions. I’m not sure which is winning.
“You’ve got less than ten seconds to convince me why I should offer you a place.Again,” he adds.
“What do I need to do?” I sigh, my heart heavy.
“This isn’t a game, Asia,” he warns. “You know how this works.”
“I’m well aware of how it fucking works, Camden.” I need to prove my loyalty to him in order to get into his gang. Actions speak louder than words. They always have. “What do I need to do?” I repeat, determined.
His gaze flicks from me to Sonny and back again, an idea forming in his head. He seems to grapple with himself for a moment. Then he grits his teeth and brings his palm up to cup my cheek. The same fire zings across my skin and I feel like Icarus flying too close to the sun. Another story my mum told me as a kid. So many stories, so many warnings hidden within them. I just wish my mum paid more attention to her own sorry tale than spending her time telling me about others.
Camden taps the paper once more. “Reject them…”
