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“He also said that he believes Camden is the key to everything. That he’s in the King’s pocket. If that’s true then there’s no way Camden won’t be fucked.”
“From what you know about Camden, do you believe he’s worth protecting as much as Eastern?” Mr Carmichael asks me.
“It’s different. I’ve known Eastern since I was a baby. He’sfamily.”
“I get that, but you’re here talking to me about Camden and your concerns forhim, despite not really knowing whether you even like him or not. You have doubts, so my question still stands. Is Camden worth protecting the same way you’re protecting Eastern?”
Is he? He’s the leader of Hackney’s Hackers, a notorious gang back in London who are famed for causing chaos and ruling the streets with an iron fist. He refuses to get rid of Monk from his crew despite the shit that wanker put me through. He wound up Eastern yesterday then kissed me this morning knowing it would hurt him even more. But not so long ago he was also Bling; a talented artist who once had dreams and aspirations, fuckinghope. He lost his sister in tragic circumstances, held her when she died in his arms and last night he seemed to care enough about me to ignore his own needs. Maybe that was all a ploy to get me onside, maybe it was genuine. Either way, is there someone inside him that’s worth protecting, saving even?
“Asia?”
“I don’t know.” And I don’t. That’s why I’m here I guess, looking for answers.
Mr Carmichael nods. “Then I want to give you a piece of advice. Do what you set out to do, find out what you can, but-and this is important-trust your instincts. If he’s a decent kid despite his circumstances, then it will become apparent. If he isn’t, then that will become clear too.”
“So, you’re sayingIshould be judge and jury? That’s it’s up to me whether I fuck him over or not?”
“Yes, I suppose I am.”
“Fucking great.”
“Asia, what did you think would happen when you agreed to Crown’s terms?”
“I thought I’d find it easy to fuck him over.”
“I don’t know much, Asia, but I do know this. You’re a good kid and you have a conscience. This isn’t going to be easy or straightforward.”
“So what do I do?”
“You need to see if Camden’s worth protecting or if he deserves punishment. I might be the principal of this school with noble ideas of helping you all. But I’m also a man who put another man in a wheelchair. Was it deserved? Yes, I believe it was. I still believe that. But does that make it right? I’ll let you consider that. The fact of the matter is, I broke the law and I paid for it, Asia. But am I a bad person? Maybe that’s not a question I can answer honestly.”
“So you think I should’ve let Eastern go to prison? Is that what you’re saying?”
“No. I’m saying that every action has a reaction. Every decision made, every choice, has a consequence. You know that better than anyone. Eastern did something stupid to try and support his family. Was it the wrong thing to do…? In the eyes of the law, yes it was. But my personal view is that if Eastern and his family got the right support from the beginning he wouldn’t have had to do what he did. Now you’ve agreed to this deal to save them and secure your futures, but at a price. Quite a hefty one. Camden’s future is in your hands, and by the looks of it so is your conscience and happiness too. See,” he says, holding open his arms, palms upwards like a pair of scales. “Action, reaction. Decision, consequence. Right now, you hold all the cards. I’m not saying it’s the easiest position to be in, because it isn’t. But you do have a choice about how this can go.”
“I don’t have a choice…”
“Yes, you do. Crown wants information about theKing. He believes Camden can provide that and he thinks you’re the one who can get him to talk. That doesn’t mean to say that whatever you find out, you have to share.”
“You want me to lie?”
“No, I want you to bewise. I want you to decide on the facts presented to you. I want you to decide whether he’s worth protecting or if he isn’t. I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again. It’s not brave to protect someone who’s wronged you. I don’t agree with this shit about loyalty in gangs when that loyalty is wasted on someone who doesn’t deserve it. But doing the same for someone who’s a good person despite the bad decisions they’ve made. That’s a different thing altogether, in my opinion.”
“That’s a dangerous opinion to have, Mr Carmichael, especially in your position.”
“Maybe so, but it’s what I believe. Only you can decide if Camden is worth protecting.”
“That’s too much responsibility…”
“You’re right, it is. But this is where you’re at. You’re at a crossroads, Asia. You can go one way and lose Eastern or you can go another and possibly seal Camden’s fate… or, you can take the route less travelled and do what you think is right, even when that could be wrong in the eyes of the ‘law’.”
“Fuck.”
“My sentiments exactly. I’m sorry this is where you’re at, but I will support you in any way I can. Anthony too, if you’ll let him. He has a code that he must stick too, an oath that can’t be broken. Go to him for advice, just to talk, whatever you need. Let him help.”
“I look after myself.”
“And yet, here you are…”
