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This is it. This is the moment where I can choose to do the right thing. I remember what Mr Carmichael said; to trust my instincts and see whether Camden is a good person worth saving. I believe he is.
“Well?”
Camden’s question is drowned out by a loud clap of thunder as the heavens open in earnest. The rain becomes a downpour. The wind roars around us and the waves crash a few feet away trying to claw back the sand and stone beneath our feet.
“I made a deal. I made a deal to protect my best friend and his family.”
“What deal, Asia?” he bites out.
Above us lightning streaks through the sky, illuminating his face that’s now twisted with confusion, with doubt and distrust.
“I’m not going through with it, at least not in the way he expects. Ican’t.”
“What fucking deal, Asia?” he insists, gripping my arms tightly. He practically lifts me off my feet, hauling me upwards and away from the incoming tide.
“A deal that would give the police information about the King. A deal that meant you would be the informant without even knowing it. A deal that would put both you and your mum in danger…”
His grip tightens, his fingers biting painfully into my skin. Disappointment and hurt rips up the air between us, making it hard for me to breathe.
“That’s why you agreed to join my crew so you could fucking betray me?” he spits, laughing loudly before shoving me away from him.
“Yes. In the beginning, yes it was…”
He sways on his feet from the impact of my honesty. “Why?” he bites out.
“Why do any of us do these things…? Because I needed to protect the ones I love, just like you’re trying to protect your mum. Just like Eastern tried to protect his family from a life of fucking poverty by joining your crew and running drugs for the King. Just like Ford threw the fight for his sister and Sonny lied about how he broke his arm to protect us.”
“I thought you were fucking different! I thought, finally, I found someone who had my back. Who gave a shit aboutme! I trusted you, Asia. I fucking trusted you!” he screams in my face, and this time there’s no mistaking the tears. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even realise he’s crying. But he is, and I’m the cause of all his pain.Me.
“Camden…” I begin, reaching for him.
“No! Don’t!” he snaps, batting my hands away. “Don’t you fucking dare touch me.”
Rain pours over us, sticking my hair to my scalp and my jumper to my skin. I’m drenched, but none of that matters. I could die tomorrow from fucking hypothermia and I wouldn’t care. I need to set this right. I need to make him see.
“Camden. Listen to me!”
“Give me one good reason why I should!” He stalks me, his body overshadowing mine physically as I backpedal over the pebbles. I can feel his hurt as though it’s a fucking living entity battering against my strength.
“Because I don’t want to hurt you or your mum. I don’t want to ruin your lives.”
“Tell me why I should believe anything that comes out of your fucking mouth. You were willing to throw me under a bus. You were willing to see my mother DEAD!”
“No. I made the deal with Crown before I knew about your mum. It’s different now.”
The thing is, it isn’t just about his Mum, it’s about Camden too. I don’t want to betrayhim.
He laughs bitterly. “Stop fucking lying. Nothing’s changed. You said yourself that you made the deal to protect the ones you love. You won’t betray them. Me and Mum are your fucking sacrifice. I. Get. It.”
There’s so much I could say to try and convince him to believe me. So many words I could feed him. But those words, they have no meaning. Not really. Not to him, not to me. They don’t change what I’ve done. I can’t undo that now. I can only try to fix this.
“Youliedto me.”
“Yes.”
I’ve lied to everyone, including myself. Now it’s time for the truth.
“Camden I was wrong. I took the deal without thinking about you. Ididn’tfucking care about anything other than the safety of my family. Youhurtme. You allowed Monk to hurt me and when I took the deal, I didn’t give a shit if I hurt you back.”
