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“Do you remember that time Old Man Joe gave me a hiding because I broke into his shed and nicked his clapped-out tandem bike so we could go ride around the estate like a couple of idiots?” he asks after a while, taking me back to a time that seemed so much easier in comparison.
“Of course, I remember. Best day of my life,” I mutter into his neck, my lips whispering against his skin as his pulse beats against my lips. We were ten, mischievous and bored. School was out for the summer and we’d been hanging out at the park trying to make use of the one broken swing and a rusty climbing frame for fun. When Eastern disappeared for ten minutes and returned with the bike, I’d literally screamed with delight, almost knocking him off it in my excitement.
“I got into so much trouble for that,” he says, the vibrations of his laugh rumbling against my chest.
“God, your mum hit the roof when she’d found out what you’d done. I think that’s the only time I’d ever seen her whack you upside the head,” I say, pulling back slightly so I can look at him, remembering the skinny, dirty knee boy he once was. When he smiles, grinning with amusement, I’m reminded that he is no longer that boy, but a man. I swallow hard.
“Fuck, I remember. That bloody hurt.”
We both laugh at the memory, settling my sudden nervousness in his presence. I’m pretty sure he had a ringing ear for two full weeks after, as well as a bruised ego given the whole estate had watched Tracy give him a piece of her mind. I’d felt his embarrassment and shame as though it were my own, but I’d also felt jealous. Jealous that he had someone who cared enough to be angry. My own mum was too high to even know where I was, let alone able to summon enough energy to give me a hiding too.
“Yeah, but that wasn’t the funniest part because once she’d finished with you she gave Old Man Joe a mouthful for hitting you. Pretty sure I learnt several new swear words that day. At one point I thought he was gonna keel over and die.”
“Yeah, me too.” Eastern grins, making my own lips curl up into another smile.
“We had fun back then, didn’t we?”
“Yeah, loads… but there was a lot of crap times too. You went through more than most.”
Eastern sighs heavily, his grin falling. I see another memory form in his eyes, and I know exactly what he’s thinking about. “You were so strong that day. Stronger than I could ever have been in the same situation.”
“I wasn’t, Eastern. It broke me, seeing her like that.”
“You held onto her as though your love could wake her up… I’ll never forget it.”
“I wish you would. I wishIcould,” I mumble, dropping my gaze from his.
We’ve never really talked about that time, but I know Eastern is just as affected by my mum’s death as I am. He was the one who found me clinging to her body, begging her to wake up. He’d come by to give me my birthday present but instead had to raise the alarm, and whilst Tracy called the ambulance, it was his arms my brothers and I fell into and didn’t leave until the police forced us apart.
Always him. Always Eastern.
“You’ve lived through so much shit, Asia. Too much…”
“Please,” I hush out, shaking my head. “I don’t want to think about mum right now or that shitty day. Not today, Eastern. Talk about something else.”
“Okay,” he murmurs, feathering his fingertips against my skin and wiping away another tear I hadn’t realised had fallen. He presses the wet tear against his mouth, his tongue licking it away. Something about that has my heart squeezing with pain and my thighs clenching with desire, two opposing forces pulling me in different directions.
It’s funny how that works… I mean, in times of great distress the natural human reaction is to seek out comfort, warmth,sex. A coping mechanism I suppose. Somehow I need to cope with this situation better than I am… I need to forget for a moment. Maybe it’s a selfish wish given the circumstances, but that’s what I need. I need to forget, and I can’t think of anyone better to lose myself with than Eastern. I love him. It’s that simple.
“Eastern…” I begin, trying to form the words I need to make him understand.
I’m acutely aware of his hot stare, of the way his fingers are smoothing over my hair, of his warm breaths feathering over my skin. The tightness in my chest is a powerful ache that reminds me of all the things I’ve lost and what I have right here in front of me.
“Eastern… I need,” I try again, but his finger presses against my lips making my words dissolve on my tongue. The look of love in his eyes has my heart expanding.
“I’msoproud of you, Asia. Of the woman you’ve become.” He laughs to himself a little at how that sounds. “You must think I’m an idiot.”
“I don’t,” I hush out, meeting his gaze, getting trapped there.
“We don’t often get compliments being the way we are, and you deserve so much praise.”
“You mean beingdelinquents?”
“Yeah, I suppose. Thing is, you’re so much more than that shitty fucking label, Asia. You’re artistic, so fucking talented. You’re brave, strong. You don’t take any shit and you stand up for the ones you love regardless of the repercussions. You, Asia, are a fucking beautiful human being. You always have been.”
I laugh awkwardly, not used to getting compliments, and especially not used to this electric charge between us. It’s grown in intensity of late. I mean, last night was fucking awesome, but that was lust. This, right now, is more. This is love. When I look into Eastern’s eyes, I know he feels it too.
“Thank you for being so…”
