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“Asia…” Mr Carmichael begins, but I don’t want to listen to his meaningless words or bullshit, so I cut him off.
“Did you know that Monk was the King’s son?” I ask suddenly, narrowing my gaze.
Mr Carmichael leans forward on his desk, that same dark look I’ve seen a few times before flashing across his eyes before he hides it with a grim smile.
“I’m going to be straight with you, Asia. I did know Monk was linked to some pretty heavy crime families given the long list of criminal acts he was involved in and all the information provided in his personal file, but Ididn’tknow he was the King’s son until you did. If I had, perhaps things would’ve gone differently.”
“Yeah, right,” I retort.
“I was in prison for fourteen years, most of Monk’s life, and before that I left the area I grew up in to try and escape from a future I wanted no part of. I didn’t know the King had a child,” he retorts, a little too defensively for my liking.
“But recently you had your suspicions?” I press, not able to back down from my hunch because I’m betting Mr Carmichael knows far more than he’s letting on. No one lives the life we do and can step away from it all so easily. He knew people, probably still does. The past has a way of catching up with you eventually, I should know.
“Does it matter now? I can’t change what’s happened,” he sighs.
“No, I guess it doesn’t change what’s happened, but I will tell you something for free, it sure as fuck changes my opinion of you, Mr Carmichael.”
“Why?” he has the audacity to ask.
“Because you had a hunch, a gut instinct, and you didn’t fucking act on it. If you thought Monk had something to do with the King, you could’ve saved us all the fucking heartache. You could’ve thrownhimunder the bus instead of us. Instead, you allowed me to take that deal with Crown. You allowed me to sacrifice my friendship with Eastern to see whether Camden was worth fucking saving, and now we’re in this mess because you weren’t brave enough to trust your gut and dig a little deeper.”
“That’s not what I intended…”
I hold my hand up, anger coursing through my blood. I need someone to blame and frankly, Mr Carmichael is as good as anyone.
“Camden’s mum isdead. She’s fucking dead!” I shout, my fingers clenching into fists. “My father is the damn King. Pink is still his fucking prisoner, and somehow we’ve still got to get Crown off our backs all while stuck in this damn fucking prison andnowyou admit to having your suspicions about Monk!?!” My voice rises with every word. I hold onto my anger with both hands, needing to feel anything other than fear. Needing to fight back, even in just a small way.
“I know I haven’t been there for you as much as I should’ve been.” He sighs heavily, a lancing pain ripping over his features. “I’ve only ever wanted to help kids like you, likeIonce was, to have a better life. To give you opportunities.Hope. I wanted to show you that you don’t have to be defined by your past, by your…” He clamps his mouth shut, cutting his own sentence short.
Eastern laughs bitterly. “With the King’s threat hanging over us all, how the fuck can we have hope?”
“I promise you this will work out,” Mr Carmichael says.
I stand abruptly, my chair scraping noisily over the wooden floor. “Promises don’t mean shit. Nothing you can say will bring Camden’s mum back. Today he broke, and you, Mr Carmichael, are partly responsible for that. You knew something was off about Monk and you didn’t fucking act! Every action has a reaction. Every decision made, every choice, a consequence,remember?”
“You’re right,” he says, after a long drawn out silence filled with angry words and distrust. “I am responsible and I’m sorry…”
“Fuck you! Fuck your apologies and fuck your promises. The only way this is over is when the King’s dead, and unless you’re the one to pull the fucking trigger, I have no damn time for you.”
This time Mr Carmichael doesn’t try to stop us when we leave.
