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“You could still get pregnant…”
“Would that be a bad thing?” I ask, cocking my head to the side.
His mouth twitches and his eyes sparkle. “A child…”
“I love you, Malakai. I want children one day, with you, if you’ll have me.”
“Fuck, Little Siren. I couldn’t think of anything more that I’d want,” he responds, climbing on the bed. Sliding my legs wide, I make room for his huge frame. “Little Malakai’s and Connie’s running around, eh?”
“They’d be beautiful…” I laugh.
“They’d be trouble…”
But all thoughts of children are forgotten the moment he slides into me bare and we fuck like two people who are hopelessly, head over heels in love.
* * *
“Here,I’d like you to have this,” Malakai says, sitting down next to me on the deck a few hours later, just as the sun is setting over the horizon. Deep purples and pinks edged in gold and fuchsia spread out across the sky, reflected in the ocean below. The pristine white sand that my feet are buried in is pooled in a marshmallow light, dusting it a pale pink. I’m wearing my navy swimsuit and cut-off denim shorts, little specks of sand are attached to the suntan cream Malakai slathered over every inch of me a few hours ago.
“What would you like me to have?” I ask, noticing he’s empty handed.
“This…” he turns away and reaches for something behind him. It’s another notebook. This time it’s bound in dark cream leather, with the ocean and a moon imprinted on the surface. He hands it to me, chewing on his lip a little. I look from his face to the notebook and back again.
“What’s inside?” I ask gently.
“You,” he responds with a rueful smile.
“Me?” My heart flips.
He turns his gaze away from me and looks out to sea. “The notebooks I sent to you before were filled with all the darkness of my past. Those pages are full of all the monstrous things I did and all my scattered, broken thoughts. I thought you needed to read them. I guess I sent them to you knowing deep down that if you did read them, you wouldn’t want me. I can be self-destructive like that.”
“Yes, I noticed that about you. You’re pretty good at pushing people away.”
He glimpses at me and smiles a little before that smile drops like a stone in the ocean. “Part of me still believes you should read them, and an even bigger part is glad you didn’t…”
“I don’t need to read them. I told you, I love who you are, not who you were.” Reaching for him, I squeeze his hand. It’s warm and strong, but right now he’s as fragile as I’ve ever seen him. Vulnerable in a way that breaks my heart.
“This is who I truly am,” he says gently, pointing to the notebook in my grasp. “It’s who I’ve always been underneath all the darkness and the bad decisions I’ve made over the years.”
“Hidden depths, just like the ocean,” I murmur, resting my head on his shoulder.
“Something like that,” he agrees, pressing a soft kiss on my hair.
“Do I need to be worried about what’s in here?” I ask after a while.
“I hope not, but it is very honest. Underneath everything I’m a simple man, Connie. I wrote all those words right here on this beach as I waited for your siren’s call. They’re all heartfelt, some are even crude…” he coughs a little to hide his embarrassment.
“Are all your dirty thoughts about me here too?” I ask, smiling, not daring to look at him because if that isn’t a turn on, I don’t know what is. Besides, we’ve spent all day making love and if I look at him right now we’ll end up making love all night too, and whilst I couldn’t think of anything more wonderful, I do really want to read what’s in this notebook.
“Yes. All of them. Everything I’ve ever imagined, but mostly just one man’s need for a beautiful girl. My need for you…”
“I’m a little nervous. What if I don’t live up to your expectations?”
“Little Siren, you’re the real deal. You’ve already passed with flying colours.” He chuckles then, and the rumbling sound makes me grin stupidly.
“Do I get a ten out of ten?” I ask, lifting my head off his shoulder and meeting his fierce gaze.
“Little Siren, we don’t deal in numbers, how can we when what we have is as bright as the moon and as vast as the ocean…?”
