AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Plucking the fret, I give them what they want, but my heart is no longer in it.
It left with Malakai.
* * *
“Goodnight,Peter. Thanks for walking me home,” I say an hour or so later.
We’re standing at the boundary of my garden, an awkward kind of silence clogging the midnight air between us. As I reach for the wooden gate, Peter reaches for me, his fingers curling around my wrist. “Connie… We need to talk.”
Funny how those are the words Malakai sent me in a text message heralding his return and yet we still haven’ttalked. I’m no clearer as to the reason why he’s back than I was about the reason why he left. Though I suppose it doesn’t take a genius to work that out. He ran from me, from his troubled past… Is he really back for the same reason? Are there forces at work here that I’m not aware of? Is the King closing in on Malakai? A flutter of fear settles inside my chest at the thought.
“I’m kind of tired, it’s been a long day,” I lie. The truth of the matter is, I’m wired and distracted. But Peter is not to be rebuffed.
“You sang beautifully tonight. No one could take their eyes off you,” he says, swallowing hard. I watch his Adam’s apple bob up and down with nerves as his gaze flits from my face to my hand that’s still cupped in his. A sick feeling builds inside my chest as I watch his finger make a swirling pattern on my palm. I don’t want his touch. God help me, there’s only one man I want to touch me.
“Thank you,” I respond, trying to pull my hand away. He grasps hold of me tighter.
“You know I like you, right?” His eyes narrow, a flash of something I don’t like cutting through the tentative words before it vanishes, making me wonder if I’m somehow projecting my screwed up feelings about Malakai onto him.
“I know,” I whisper, giving him a half smile that comes out as a grimace. At least he can admit his feelings. There’s strength in that.
“Can I kiss you?” His gaze lifts to meet mine and I see the want in his eyes, the fiery lust. Any other girl would be turned on by it, would appreciate it, would reciprocate. I can’t.
He’s not Malakai.
He’s not the man I want.
Yet, I nod my head,yes. Maybe if I let him kiss me I can get Malakai out of my thoughts. Maybe I can push him away as violently as he seems keen to do to me. Peter steps closer, drawing my hand up to his cheek. He turns his lips to my palm and kisses me there.
I feel nothing.
No attraction. No lust. No desire or burning need.
Just… nothing.
As Peter steps closer, I force myself to remain in his hold and not run. When he presses his cool lips against mine, I wait for the spark to alight. When he slips his tongue between the seam of my lips and strokes my tongue with his, I wait for something, anything, to grasp onto. But only a deep sense of betrayal fills me. I’m not Peter’s. I never will be.
Gently pushing against Peter’s chest, I step back. “We really should get some sleep, Peter,” I say with a soft whisper.
He frowns, swiping a hand through his hair. “Is this something to do with that man, the one who tried to close The Shack early today?”
“No,” I find myself saying, wrapping my arms around myself to hold onto the lie. If I tell myself often enough that he doesn’t make my heart sing, maybe it will make it real. Maybe itwillbecome the truth.
Peter nods sharply. “I see. So, it’s just me then?”
“It’s not you…” I begin realising how lame that sounds. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. I’ll just have to up my game. Us Aussies don’t give up that easily. You’re worth it, Connie Silva.”
Even in the half light from the bright moon and speckled stars, I can still see the hope brimming in Peter’s eyes. I should shut it down right now. I thought I had, because there’s no room in my bruised heart for him like that, it’s already so filled to the brim with Malakai that it feels on the verge of bursting. It’s so painful that I rub my chest to stop the ache.
“Peter, I…” but he doesn’t stick around.
“See you in the morning.”
“You don’t have to do that. I can manage the breakfast rush. Lola will be back before lunch tomorrow anyway,” I reply, watching him step away from me.
“Of course I’ll be there. Besides, I get to spend more time wooing you, right?”
