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Her warm breaths puff over my bare chest, and her eyes lock onto the angel tattoo sitting right over my heart. She raises her hand, her brows pulling together in a frown as she runs her fingers gently over the tattoo.
“When did you get this?” she asks, her voice so soft, I have to strain to hear, not to mention the fact that I’m fucking distracted by her touch.
“Not long after—” I sigh heavily.Come on, Dax, man the fuck up.“I got it not long after that night. I wanted a reminder of what I loved, and what I fucking lost. Back then, I wanted to look in the mirror and be reminded of the pain you caused so I wouldn’t be weak and seek you out. I got this tattoo as a warning to never, ever let you into my heart again.”
Pen’s hand falls away, and I can see tears glistening on the edges of her lashes as her gaze bores a hole right through my chest.
“I’m sorry…”
“Pen, listen —” But I can’t get the words out. My heart is still fucking bruised, and my words are caught in my throat at all the hurt between us. So much fucking hurt. There’s no hiding the feelings bubbling within us both, withinme.
“I’m done with men using me,” she finally whispers out. It’s a random declaration but the truth in her words cuts me deep, slicing right through my skin. I need to get to the bottom of that statement because it’s heavy with secrets, but when I tip her head up so I can get a real good look at her, I know that she’s on the cusp of blurting everything out and I owe it to my brothers to wait for their return. They need to hear what she has to say, and I’ll be damned if I make her say it more than once, given how much it’s killing her.
“You should sleep,” I say, loosening my grip and stepping back, my hand falling away. “We can all talk when you’ve rested.”
“Dax, I —” There’s a sadness to her tone and I want to pick her up and fucking hold her. It takes all my effort not to snatch her up into my arms and crush her against my chest.
“Sleep, Pen. Take my room. You need to rest. You’re exhausted.”
Her gaze locks with mine and in that moment, I seeher. I really see her.
My Kid. My beautiful fucking girl.
There’s nothing else in her gaze but honesty and this sad kind of loneliness that fucks me up in the worst possible way. I don’t need to fight in a cage to feel pain, I just need to look into her eyes.
“Dax,” she chokes, stepping off the stool. She seems to wobble on her feet. I swallow hard, my whole body vibrating with need for her. I can’t fucking help it. I hold my arms open, needing her. Needing this.
Fuck everything.
“Kid, come here,” I croak, my own throat closing up with emotion. This time she doesn’t hesitate. She walks straight into my open arms, slamming into my chest as she wraps her arms tightly around my waist.
“I missed you so,somuch, Dax,” she whispers, her fingers digging into my skin, her cheek pressing against my chest right where my tattoo sits over my crazy, out of control heart. I hold her close, cupping her head and pulling her against me tightly. I don’t ever want to let go. Not ever.
So I don’t.
I hold her tightly as she sobs quietly in my arms, and every tear she sheds, every fucking sob that rips out of her mouth breaks down every last shred of resentment and anger I hold inside. It falls away. All of it. All of the years of wondering why she turned her back on me, onus, is shredded. Pen rarely cries. She was always so fucking strong. But I have a feeling, since we’ve returned, that’s all she’s done. Right here, right now, she falls apart in my arms, and I've never felt so fucking small in my life.
I'vedone this to her.
We'vedone this to her.
We came back into her life and pushed her, treated her like shit, like she meant nothing when all the while she meant every damn thing. No, shemeanseverything. And if Xeno can't fucking see it, then screw him.
My instincts kick in. My need to protect her like I did when we were kids takes over, and I slide my hands down her back, cupping her arse as I lift her up. She doesn’t protest, she simply wraps her legs around my waist, her hands sliding over my chest as she buries her face in the crook of my neck. I feel her lips brush against my shoulder, and my heart fucking collapses into a bleeding pulpy mess in my chest, whilst my cock thinks the circus has come to town. I snarl internally. This isn’t about that. I won’t break this truce by taking advantage of her in such a vulnerable state, no matter how much I want to rip my clothes from her body and sink into her until there’s only us.
Without saying a word, I carry her back to my room, kicking the door shut behind me, and lay her on my bed. She unravels herself from around me and lies down, her red-rimmed eyes staring up at me as I hover over her, my knees trapping her thighs, my forearms resting on either side of her head.
We don’t talk. This moment between us is too huge for words, too momentous. If I could dance with her now, I would. If she wasn’t so emotionally drained, I would take her into my arms and show her with my steps exactly how I feel. I’d make her understand that I never stopped loving her even when I convinced myself that I did.
But we have time for that.
Right now she needs to trust me again. She needs to know that from this fucking moment onwards, no matter the cost, I’m on her side.
“Dax, will you just hold me?”
My chest heaves as she looks at me with haunted eyes that make me want to kill everyone who ever hurt her, including my best friends, including myself. I nod, lowering down on arms that fucking tremble from holding back. She’s the only woman who’s ever made me feel weak and fucking invincible at the same time. My Kid.Fucking mine.
There’s nothing more that I want to do than sink myself inside of her, to love her the way I want to, the way I need to. Instead, I press my lips against her forehead and squeeze my eyes shut. My fingers curl around the bedding as I force myself to hold back. To wait.
