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12
Pen
“You sneaky bitch! What wasthatall about?” Clancy asks, her infectious smile like a tonic. It makes me feel like everything that’s just happened between Zayn and me is normal, that I can make out with a guy and then dissect every single part of it with my friend. I’ve never had a female friendship like this, unless you include my sister, Lena, which I don’t because there are just some things that I can’t tell her. I look at Clancy, at the delight in her eyes and the sparkle in her green orbs, then sigh because whatcanI tell her?
“It’s complicated.”
She raises her brows and cocks out her hip. “Complicated? I bet. Stubble rash suits you.”
Her laughter rings in my ears as I snatch my head around to look in the mirror. “Fuck,” I mumble. Sure enough I have a stubble rash from my kiss with Zayn. I raise my fingers to my lips and cheeks. At least she hasn’t noticed the slight puffiness of my eyes from the tears I shed. I don’t want to have a conversation explaining that.
“How was it?”
“How was what?” I throw back, knowing perfectly well what she’s asking.
She cocks her hip and raises her brow. “Playing tonsil tennis with Mr Hip-Hop Gangster, of course!”
Kissing Zayn was…
Fuck! It was everything I’d hoped it would be and now I’m reeling. “I—” I begin, then fumble. I’ve no idea what to say or do. I need time to unravel what’s just happened. Clancy’s smile drops as she reaches for my arm, squeezing it gently.
“Sorry. Listen, you don’t have to tell me anything. I’m just here if you need me, okay?Areyou okay?”
“I’m not sure,” I say honestly.
She nods. “I thought you two weren’t friends anymore?”
“We aren’t.”
Clancy raises a perfectly arched brow. “No?”
“No.” I sound more certain than I feel.
“Pen. Forgive me. I’m not normally intrusive, I swear. It’s just…” She cocks her head, her pretty red curls falling over her shoulder. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I’ve seen the way you look at him, atallof them. The tension is off the charts. It’s hot-as-hell, fanny-fluttering, insanity. I could come just being in a room with you all.”
I let out a broken laugh at that, my cheeks flushing at the memory of Zayn’s hand cupping my pussy. Clancy is right, it was fanny-flutter inducing. I’ve not come like that in a long, long time, but instead of feeling fulfilled, I only feel his absence more keenly. Zayn wants to heal what’s broken between us. I do too, but every way I turn I’m fucked. My brother wants information and I have to let them in then fuck them over to get it.
“I mean, all joking aside, you can’t live like this. It’s not healthy, Pen. Something's gotta give, and I’ll be damned if it’s you. Don’t let them hurt you. Do you hear me?” she asks, her hands grabbing my shoulders before she pulls me into a hug.
My eyes fill with tears at her kindness, and it’s all I can do to hold them back. But I’m Pen Scott and I’m strong. Instead, I hold onto her and whisper vehemently in her ear. “They won’t break me.Promise.”
“Good,” she responds, pulling back. “They give you shit. I give them a shit-ton of trouble back.”
This time I do laugh. She’s so fiery, just like her hair. “What, all five feet, two inches of you are going up against the Breakers?”
“Well, if you can do it at no more than an inch taller than me, then so can I! We might be small, but we’re fucking mighty, right?” I shake my head, rolling my eyes. “Right?” she insists.
“Right.”
“Atta girl!” Clancy looks down at her wrist watch. “It’s almost five. “Fancy a bite to eat?”
My stomach growls in agreement, but my wallet vehemently disagrees. I pull a face and raise my bruised apple.
“You’re not serious?” she asks, unable to hide her disgust at my dinner. Frankly, I’m unable to hide my own disgust, but beggars can’t be choosers. “Come on, Pen. Let’s sort you out.” Clancy puts her arm through mine and pulls me towards the studio door.
“I can’t afford takeout, Clancy,” I admit, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment. I don’t even know if I’m going to get paid to work at Grim’s club. I’m so fucked.
“Who said anything about a takeaway?I’mmaking you something to eat. It’s nothing,” she says, brushing away my concerns, but pride makes me argue.
