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“I couldn’t walk away, no matter the consequences.”
“And what does your instinct tell you to do now?” I ask, swallowing hard at the look in his eyes.
“It tells me to do things that would make you wish you hadn’t stopped,” he replies, his pupils widening, darkening the green irises, stripping them of colour.
Something shifts in the air, the almost peaceful calm after such a violent act charging with awareness. My skin rises in goosebumps, fear pooling low in my belly. He means to hurt me, and yet he’s holding back. The Numbers said he would kill me. This is the perfect opportunity to do that. Right now, he could overpower me and take my life, but he doesn’t.
“Why are you holding back?” I whisper, watching him carefully. My body is as taut as a wire, waiting for the moment that he’ll attack. Part of me wants him to, wants this over and done with. The other part is preparing to run.
“You want the honest truth?”
“Yes, I want the truth.”
He presses his eyes shut, considering his answer. When he opens them again, I don’t see a man who wants to kill me, but the boy who saved me and set us both on this path. “Because you’ve become my mirror, just like you said you would.”
I draw in a surprised breath at his confession, at thehumanityin his gaze, but the longer he stares the quicker it fades and I feel the urgent need to stop that from happening, to keep him in the moment. “Don’t leave,” I say, touching the man whilst trying to reach the boy. He stiffens again, but he doesn’t push me away. Sliding closer, I tentatively press my lips against his and kiss him tenderly.
Maybe it’s guilt for hurting him so badly.
Maybe it’s madness.
Maybe it’s the glimpse of that boy I just saw in his eyes.
Perhaps it’s fate.
All I know is that I have the sudden urge to heal what I’ve broken, to be a better person than the man he’s become, so I slide my tongue between his parted lips and kiss him as though I don’t hate him, as though my kiss is enough to heal all the wounds I’ve inflicted on his body.
His mouth parts on a groan as he relinquishes himself to my kiss and adjusts his body so that I’m beneath him. The heat of his chest sinks into mine and something about that seems right even when everything about this should be wrong.
Refusing to unravel my fucked-up emotions, I allow myself this kiss, this moment of healing. I’m no fool, this could all still lead to destruction but I give into the moment, the simplicity of two people offering comfort in the purest way possible. Leon adjusts himself between my legs, pressing me into the cool floor. He kisses me back, and this time our kiss isn’t violent, it isn’t filled with hate or ownership.
It’s not gentle either, it’ssearching.
He kisses me like he’s trying to understand something within me, within him.
My body relaxes, my fingers press against his chest, sliding up over his shoulders until I clutch the back of his neck, tugging him closer. I find myself wanting to dive into his depths, so I can soothe away the agony of my scars and the memory of that night. My legs wrap around his waist as I draw him closer to me, the chastity belt digging into my crotch adding more friction. He groans, grinding against me as his tongue searches and soothes, probes and penetrates.
This kiss is electric. Potent. Far more dangerous to my self-preservation than anything I’ve experienced so far. Ten minutes ago I wanted to kill him. Part of me still does.
But more of me is pulling him closer instead of pushing him away.
The kiss evolves again, shifting gears, and I find myself whimpering beneath him, wanting far more than I have any right to crave.
“Fuck, enough!” Leon says, ripping his mouth away from mine and jumping upwards. He looks down at me with a pained expression. “Get out of here.”
“Wh—what?”
“I said, get the fuck out!” He yells, backing away from me.
“Leon,” I start, pushing up to my feet. “Let’s talk about this—”
“There’s nothing to talk about. I killed your mum. You got your revenge.”
“If I had my revenge, you’d be dead,” I point out, still feeling raw, sick to my stomach knowing what I know, knowing what I almost did, what we’ve just shared. “But two wrongs don’t make a right.”
“So fucking pious!”
“I don’t believe in God,” I reply, taking two steps towards him. “This isn’t about a higher fucking power. This is about what happened between us andwhy. I need answers, Leon!”
“You should’ve fucking killed me, Nought, because I won’t ever tell you a thing, and I sure as fuck won’t be that boy again,” he says, shoving me away. I stumble backwards, my arms cartwheeling as I try to regain my balance.
“Don’t do this. Don’t be this man! Talk to me.”
“If you don’t fucking leave right now I will put my hands around your throat and do what I should’ve done all those years ago.”
“Maybe I should let you. At least this will all be over!”
“No!” he shouts, gripping my arms and pushing me backwards. “You aren’t just mine.”
My toes kiss the floor as I try to keep up with him. When we reach the door he shoves me through it, slamming it in my face. A second later I hear the sound of a key turning in the lock and the screams of a man on the verge of losing his mind.
