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In every dream or thought, we put everything behind us. We did what we both craved. But this isn’t a dream, this is reality. Still, it doesn’t make it hurt any less. I can’t help but want him, and I don’t know how to make it stop. I have to find a way to make it stop.
After a very awkward, very uncomfortable drive back to the dorms, I spend the rest of the day in my room, recovering physically from being hungover, and mentally from the realization of what happened between us, and the fact that it can’t happen again.
“So, are you ever going to tell me where you stayed last night?” D asks. I feel bad about not telling her, but I just don’t think I should tell anyone, not even her. If the truth gets out, and Sebastian loses his job, I’ll never forgive myself.
“Some guy, I didn’t even catch his name,” I lie. “I do know he wasn’t a student here. He was at the party with a friend he told me.”
“Sure, he was…” Delilah looks at me suspiciously. She’s opening her mouth, no doubt in an attempt to dig deeper for information when my cell starts to ring beside me. Grabbing the buzzing device off my nightstand, I focus on the number. It doesn’t look familiar, but it’s local, so I answer it anyway.
“Hello,” I say, giving Delilah an apologetic smile.
“Good afternoon, this is Ashley from the campus bookstore calling. I’m trying to reach Lily Kline.”
“That’s me.”
“Hey, Lily, just wanted to let you know that all of your books just came in and are ready for pick up.” Books? What? It takes a good second for it all to click in my mind, most likely from all the liquor saturating my brain. Sebastian told me he would buy me my books the other day. I just didn’t think he would actually do it.
“Hello?” The friendly voice calls, and I realize, I haven’t said anything in way too long.
“Ah, yes… yes, thank you. I will be coming by later to pick them up. Mhm… just double-checking, have they been paid in full or do I need to bring some money?”
“Nope, you paid everything online when the order was placed.”
Yup, definitely, Seb.
“Okay, thanks again.” I hang up the phone, and swing my gaze over to D. Her eyebrows are raised, and I know she is expecting an explanation for all of this sooner rather than later.
“What? It’s just my book order.”
D, blinks slowly, her button nose wrinkling as if she’s smelt something bad, or worse my lie. “It’s not the books I’m giving you this look for. It’s because I know you’re hiding something, and I want to know what it is.”
“I’m not hiding anything.” Getting the words past my teeth is hard. Delilah is my closest friend, and while I don’t think she would tell a soul about Sebastian and me. I don’t want to risk word getting out. Rumors spread like a wildfire on campus.
She gives me a look that says she doesn’t believe me but doesn’t push the issue. “Let’s go get some dinner since you slept all day, and we can pick up your books on the way.”
“That’s a great idea actually, I could go for a big greasy burger right about now,” I grin, my stomach feels a whole lot better now, but with that, hunger comes along.
She nods and starts putting her sneakers on when she turns to me again. “I’ll leave you alone for now, but I know you’re hiding something.” Guilt settles into my gut at her words. I try to hide it with a smile, but I’m sure she sees right through it. To my relief, she doesn’t say anything else though.
Not bothering to put makeup on, I pull my hair up in a messy ponytail, grab an old pair of jeans to throw on with a baggy sweatshirt and slip into some comfortable flats. The bookstore, as well as the diner, are in walking distance, so we head out on foot, right after I’m ready.
We pick the pile of books up on the way. D looked at me funny when she saw that all of them were new copies and none of them used, but luckily, she stuck to her word and left me alone about it… for now.
With my heavy backpack full of textbooks slung over my shoulder, we walk into the diner. It’s pretty crowded this time of the day, and I almost regret coming here. I don’t want to be around this many people right now. I’m about to suggest we just do carry out when a whiff of fries and burgers tickle my nostrils, and my stomach growls in response. Okay, I need food now.
The hostess grabs two menus, and I watch her ponytail bounce from left to right as we follow her through the packed restaurant. We sit down in a small booth, and she takes our drink order before leaving.
