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All my life, I have been a disappointment to people around me, never meeting anyone’s expectations. I don’t want Seb to be disappointed in me too. If he was, it would crush me.
“Lily, if that’s what you want to do, then I will support your decision one hundred percent. I’m so proud of you,” he tells me, and I can’t stop the tear from trailing down my cheek.
“Really?” I gasp, and it feels like I can finally breathe like I’ve escaped the suffocating pressure on my chest.
“Really… although, as your dean, I should probably advise you against dropping out,” he chuckles. “You know education is important, blah blah blah…”
“Dean Miller, is that what you tell all your students?”
“No, just the ones I’m in love with.”
“I love you too.” So, so much.
19
Sebastian
“So, things are good now? You’re officially together?” Rem asks before taking a drink of his beer. It’s guys night, him, Lex and I are chilling at his house eating pizza and drinking beer like a group of frat boys.
I nod, “Yeah, we’re together, and it’s serious, and we don’t have to worry about hiding it or someone seeing us.”
I can’t believe how much better I felt once Lily dropped out, not that I would’ve cared if she had stayed, college just wasn’t something she ever wanted to do. Painting was her dream, and I was going to do everything I could to help her achieve her goals. But I’m not going to lie, being able to kiss her in front of everyone, being able to touch her and say this is my woman, it’s been amazing.
“I can’t believe you’re boning your dead girlfriend’s sister,” Lex says, careless to Amy’s memory. I try not to let it bother me, he doesn’t understand, and he’s going through his own shit, but it hurts a little.
“Don’t be a dick,” Rem grumbles, staring Lex down.
“Sorry,” Lex says a moment later, “my heads all over the place. I didn’t mean to be a dick. I’m happy for you and Lily.”
“Thanks, brother. Now we just gotta find you a woman.”
“Yeah, no.” He shakes his head and takes a drink of his beer, “Women are too much fucking work, and right now the only thing I need to be working on is myself.”
“Right, but I don’t think I’ve seen you with a girl…” Rem taps at his chin, “Well, I haven’t seen you with a girl in forever.”
Lex rolls his eyes, “Don’t need a girl.”
“Oh, wait, there was that one girl, what’s her name, Tina, Talila?”
“Taylor, and she’s not my girl. She’s Shawn’s little sister, and I wouldn’t touch her even if I knew her brother wouldn’t chop my balls off for doing it.”
Rem smiles, “That sounds like interest, or at least like you’ve thought about it.”
“Seriously?” Lex’s face turns serious, “I like my balls too much.”
“Yup, definitely sounds like you’ve thought about screwing her, doesn’t it, Seb?” Rem asks, trying to sway me into this teasing argument.
“No comment,” I mumble while grabbing a slice of pizza from the box in front of me and take a bite. Being the middle brother always means I’m the one to break the tie or break up the argument between the two of them.
“Come on, Lex, just admit it. Just once.” Rem’s voice rises with each word.
“No.”
“Yes.” Rem mocks.
Lex squeezes his beer bottle and looks like he’s grappling with his thoughts, “Okay, okay. I have. But I’ll never cross that line. I value my life too much, plus Taylor is young, a little naive, and way too good for an ass like me.”
“Lily’s ten years younger than me, but that hasn’t changed anything.”
“It’s not happening, and I only admitted it so he would shut up.” Lex points to Rem who is smiling like a kid on Christmas morning.
“I wouldn’t admit anything to him, especially if you want him to shut up, because all he’s going to do now is talk, talk, and talk.”
“For fuck’s sake, seriously?” Lex growls with frustration.
“Yup, now you have to explain.” Rem settles into the couch, staring up at our older brother like it’s storytime. I swear now that he’s settled down with Jules and let go of all his anger, and pain he’s more of a kid than an adult. Sometimes, I wish he would go back to being the lost kid that needed guidance. Sometimes.
“There is nothing to explain, Rem,” Lex’s face pales, and we can tell right away that he’s hiding something. Before Rem or I can say anything, the front door opens, and Jules walks in, a couple shopping bags in her hands.
Her big blue eyes land first on Rem, and then on Lex and me.
“Shoot, it’s guys night,” she mumbles under her breath as she closes the door behind herself. “Sorry, I totally spaced it. I’m just going to go crawl into bed.” An apologetic smile appears on her lips, but she looks too exhausted to look happy.
