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“A little is not enough. I told you. I want tobleed.”

She nods, and this time is unable to hide the smile that spreads across her face. One loves to inflict pain as much as I love to feel it. She finds satisfaction in it, and I find relief. Or at least that’s what I’m hoping for because, even now, all I think about is her.

Nothing.

And there is no relief where she’s concerned, only agony.

“Then bleed you shall.”

One strikes me hard, and I feel my skin tear. The pain is intense but it barely registers against thoughts of Nothing that barge their way into my consciousness.

Shedied.

And for just a moment my world had fucking ended right there with her. I would’ve fallen to my knees like Leon if his reaction to her death hadn’t pulled me up sharp. It was like looking into a fucking mirror. He’d reminded me in that moment what it means to truly feel.

Weak.

He’d become weak, and I’d made a choice to remain fucking strong.

Being here will only help me to maintain that strength.

Bullshit, you’re here because Nothing makes you want more, and no amount of lies or lashes will hide that fact,my internal voice taunts.

“No!” I bite out, pressing my eyes shut as I try to bury the thought.

“Should I stop?” One asks, misunderstanding my outburst.

“No!Harder!” I demand, my fingers curling around the restraints as I try to ground myself in the moment here, right now with One.

But it’s no use. Nothing still invades my thoughts as I remember how she’d judged us all that night she’d danced for us in the library.

“You’re sick. How can anyone find pleasure in pain? How can you?”she’d accused.

My skin trickles with sweat, stinging the open wounds that now crisscross both my chest and back as memories of that evening come hurtling back. Nothing had been appalled by the pleasure Leon received when I’d whipped him for disobeying my orders, and had refused to give him the final lash on my command. Instead she chose to receive it, to save herself from that small act of violence. She’d pissed me off and I hadn’t held back. I whipped her as hard as I whipped Leon. Only she proved how strong she truly was by not making a sound, by turning back around to look me dead in the eye and asking me if I was done.

She hadn’t cried. She hadn’t thrown up. She hadn’t cowered. She didn’t break.

Then she’d danced like a fucking angel who had endured savagery and conquered it, and in that moment I knew we were all fucked.

Just like I know I am now.

“More!” I roar, and more is what I receive.

One doesn’t stop until my chest is a bloody mess and I’m barely conscious.

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