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“You’re not concerned about that?”
“We all have our way of dealing with things. Jakub’s is to inflict pain on himself. I don’t have to like it to accept that’s what he needs.” He meets my gaze. “We don’t have to worry about him, at least not today.”
“You’re not filling me with much confidence.”
Leon reaches for me, pressing his fingers onto my forearm as he steps into my personal space once again. He can’t seem to help himself. “I will do everything in my power to protect you. Anything. Do you understand me, Christy?Anything,” he says fiercely.
I chew on my lip, frowning as I drop my gaze and stare at his fingers squeezing my arm. My cheeks flood with heat at his nearness, and my body sways towards him, betraying me. I know he would, what happened between us the other night proved that.
“I want to believe you,” I say, swallowing hard and forcing myself to take a step away from him. It isn’t a lie, or even a half-truth. I do want to believe he’s a changed man, but equally part of me hopes that he isn’t so that when it comes to the point when I poison him, I can do so without a shred of guilt. “I want to believe that I’m safe with you now…”
My voice trails off as I try to make sense of the tumultuous feelings wreaking havoc within me. A few days ago my need for vengeance had been my driving force. It’s what got me through to that point. This morning, however, things are a little less clear, and a hell of a lot murkier. Common sense tells me that just because we fucked, just because Leon fought against his true nature and won in that moment, doesn’t mean he’s a reformed character, and it certainly doesn’t mean I should forgive and forget. Getting outside to clear my head should do me some good. I need fresh air and space.
I need tothink.
Stepping out from his hold, I grab the long woollen cardigan Thirteen left for me to wear and pull it on over the jumper and leggings I borrowed from her. It’s the most clothing I’ve worn since arriving here and whilst I know it doesn’t give me any real protection, wearing clothes makes me feel better about myself and my situation. It gives me a modicum of power back, however tenuous that might be.
“You’re safe with me. I won’t hurt you ever again.”
“You’re hurting me just by keeping me here,” I say softly, reminding him that I’m still a prisoner no matter how he pretends otherwise.
“You have to understand that I can’t let you go. Despite how I feel towards you, I meant what I said before, I won’t let you leave. You’remine, Christy.”
My cheeks heat at the possessiveness in his voice and the intense way he looks at me, but despite that his words still anger me and I can’t help but bite back. “Only if I allow myself to be, Leon. You might’ve made love to me, but I justfuckedyou,” I say, twisting on my feet and striding towards the door, pulling it open, only for his palm to hit the wood and slam it shut.
“Don’t do that,” he growls, his length pressed against mine as he pushes me against the door.
“Do what?” I ask, forcing my voice to hold steady so it doesn’t give away the frantic beat of my heart. My cheek rests against the smooth wood as he runs his lips against my birthmark gently. It takes every ounce of control not to shudder from his touch.
“Lie to yourself,” he breathes against my skin. “I may have control of my monster, but that doesn’t mean to say I’m not willing to put you over my knee and show you what I do to pretty little liars...”
“You said you’d never hurt me again,” I whisper, forcing my body to stiffen and not melt into his touch.
“And I won’t. You’ll only ever feel pleasure from these hands, from my lips, my cock, but that doesn’t mean to say that a spanking is off the menu, now does it?” Leon asks with a soft chuckle as he steps back taking both his heat and his promise with him. “Now, should we take that walk?”
* * *
We circlethe castle on our walk, passing through well-tended gardens that teem with plants, trees and shrubs. Even though it’s nearing winter there’s still plenty of foliage, flowers and berries brightening the gardens. I’ve no idea what any of the plants are called, but I appreciate their beauty and the crisp frost that clings to their leaves and branches.
“Do you have gardeners?” I ask, contemplating for the first time how a place like this is run. Aside from the male servant Jakub and I bumped into in the hallway leading to the Room of Curiosities, and the odd glimpse of maids going about their business, I’ve rarely seen anyone.
“Yes, we do. I don’t have much to do with the staff. Jakub tends to oversee all of that, and until recently Renard managed all the staff on his behalf,” Leon explains.
“Who will be taking over that role now?”
Leon shrugs, pulling out a flip knife and cutting a pretty pink and white flower from a nearby bush. His fingers brush over the velvety petals, before he lifts it to his nose and draws in a deep breath. “That’s something we need to discuss soon, but right now the staff are managing just fine.”
“How many staff do you have exactly?” I ask, watching as Leon carefully cuts off every thorn on the stem before handing it to me and pocketing his knife. I take it wordlessly, running the soft petals under my nose and inhaling the scent.
“At a guess, around fifty. Though it could be more...” His voice trails off and I feel the heat of his gaze warming my skin. “That’s a Christmas rose, otherwise known as a hellebore. Pretty, isn’t it?”
“I didn’t take you for a botanist,” I say, running my finger over the soft petals, side-eying him as we stroll along.
He chuckles and his face transforms with a wry grin. Swallowing hard, I look away. “I’m not, I just pay attention when, on the odd occasion, Thirteen talks about the plants she uses in her work.”
“I see,” I reply, following Leon through an archway cut through a very prickly looking bush. On the other side is a huge allotment with rows and rows of soil, turned and covered for winter, and some winter herbs growing in raised beds. At the back of the allotment is a small wooden shed. The door is open and inside I can see the faint outline of someone moving about.
“This is where Thirteen grows all her plants, herbs and flowers that she uses in her potions and lotions. She’s been out here all morning harvesting what’s left of her crop, she said she wanted to work on some more elixirs.”
