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CHAPTER21
KONRAD
My head emerges from the surface of the water, icy droplets spilling over my brow and down my chest as I pull myself up onto the ledge carved into the cave wall on the other side of the underground lake.
For the first time in a very, very long time, I feel at peace.
Ironic, given what happened to get me here.
A mixture of guilt and anger burns in my gut. I push those emotions away, not wanting to fall back into the depths of my mind. I need to have a clear head. I need to think.
Edging back onto the ledge, I rest my hand against the root nearest me. It’s bark is smoother than the rough trunk we’re used to seeing above ground, softened by the water that runs in rivulets down the wall. This tree has seen so much violence. A history of death and bloodshed handed down through the generations, absorbed into its roots that spread out over this cavernous space.
The Brov family legacy is coming to its end.
Because of her, because of Christy Dálaigh.
The woman with ghost eyes.
The woman who is standing on the other side of the lake, my brother at her feet. Her dress is glued to her frame, showing off every curve, hinting at the beauty of her body hidden beneath the dark material, because it is beautiful, every scarred and damaged part of it.
The ends of her hair are wet tendrils, darkened by the water. Her face is free of makeup, her birthmark bright red from the cold, her lips turning blue at the edges.
She’s a vision.
God, she’s everything.
She’s dangerous.
I knew it the moment I first laid eyes on her. I knew she’d ruin us.
Back then that had scared me. A man who fears nothing, had feared her.
And now? Now, I’m glad of it.
Let her ruin us. Let her demolish this place. Let her end the Brov legacy once and for all.
It’s time.
Time to let it all go.
Not just the past, but the future, too. I’m not fool enough to believe she’ll be a part of it. Leon might think he can keep her here forever, but I know better. As much as I want that too, I also know that Grim will come for her. That we will pay for our sins the way all our forefathers have, in blood and death. Then and only then will she be free of us.
All I can hope for is the here and now. This day, this moment.
All I can do is live in the present and hope that my actions from this second on are worthy of this woman. It’s why I didn’t take more than a kiss. It’s why I didn’t act on the impulses that still run through my veins because whilst she’s shone a light on my darkness, weakened it, it still resides within me. Just like Leon’s does, just like Jakub’s will.
It’s a part of who I am, who we are. It’s our ball and chain, the rope around our throats, the knife buried in our hearts, the poison swimming in our souls. The darkness lives in the memories which haunt us, its scars both visible and hidden.
It will never leave us.
So all I can do is leave her. Give us space. Distance.
I suspect that’s what Jakub is doing right now, although he covers that up with the need to inflict pain on himself to block those feelings of desire, need, empathy, kindness,love. It’s a destructive skill our father trained him with. A painful cycle that has no ending.
A gentle splash in the water draws my attention back across the lake and from my thoughts. This time Leon is standing alone on the ledge, Christy swims towards me.
“No!” I shout, shaking my head, drawing my knees up to my chest.
