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Ella
Ithink I’m in Heaven. I never knew sex could be so good. It’s as if it’s a drug. Lucas has corrupted me for anyone else—ever. It’s not this place, this magical place that could be in the Twilight Zone, it’s so far removed from reality I almost expected to see a unicorn strolling majestically down the path with a fairy on its back. Instead, I found Utopia when Lucas invaded my body. My feelings are intense, I never knew I was capable of feeling so hard, but I do. Just being skin on skin with him, closer than I’ve ever been to a man before, emotionally rather than physically, makes things different.
I’ve had sex before, but nothing like this. This is something else, and even when he pulls out, I’m hungry for more.
Lucas pulls me into the lake and we start all over again. We make love inside the lake and on its side. He tastes and samples every inch of me, and I have never orgasmed as hard as I do with him. I’ve lost count of the condoms that lie discarded on the side and time has no meaning as we do everything we shouldn’t in a place that nobody knows exists.
It’s as if actions have no consequences here. Nothing matters but the sins of the flesh and the joining of bodies. It’s a strangely liberating experience as we frolic in the secret garden like Adam and Eve, devouring each other like wild animals. But I know this is temporary, and I’m under no illusion this is just a distraction to him, a way to pass an afternoon because I see it in his eyes. There’s regret in those eyes, something that’s bothering him, and yet I push the doubts away.
I know this is temporary, a moment in time, and I’m fine with that. For now, anyway, because even if it means we never meet again after today, I wouldn’t have missed this experience for the world. Money can’t buy this particular drug and I’m getting the most I can while it’s on offer and at the end of it we will go our separate ways because that is what life has in store for us. I’m not stupid, I’m practical and I know our worlds don’t mix, so I do everything I can to enjoy the moment and wait for fate to deliver the low blow she usually throws my way.
We lie on the edge of the lake, gazing into each other’s eyes, and Lucas looks the most content since I met him. He keeps on staring at me which could be quite awkward, but I love it. He makes me feel like a queen and I am reluctant to leave this magical place, so when he groans and runs his thumb along my lips, I know I’m not going to like his next sentence just from the look in his eyes.
“We must leave, I have missed at least two meetings and I’m guessing Dixie is mighty pissed right now.”
“I’m sorry, Lucas, I’ve kept you from your work.”
He laughs and I love hearing it.
“No, darlin’, I’ve kept me from my work because for once I’m doing something for me. Not the business, not anyone else, just for me, and if that gets me in trouble, then I’m fine with it.”
I giggle and he grins. “What’s so funny?”
“You are. I can’t imagine you in trouble with anyone. I’m guessing you play by your own rules and to hell with what people think. You know, you’re lucky to have that luxury.”
“It’s not luck, it’s destiny.”
He sits up and stares across the lake and looks so sad I wonder about his life. How does someone so young reach this level of power?
Sitting up, I drape my arm around his shoulders and for a moment we sit looking across the lake in silence. After a while, I say tentatively, “Tell me about yourself, do you have any family, do they live here?”
He seems sad as he stares into the distance. “No, I have no family, just Tom and Dixie, Adam too.”
My heart physically aches as I whisper, “That’s sad. What happened to them?”
For a moment, I think he’s going to change the subject. I can tell it’s a sore one as he sighs. “They died, it’s not a happy tale.”
Stroking his neck lightly, I wonder whether to push it, and then he sighs heavily, “We should go.”
He stands and pulls me up to face him and then, to my surprise, smiles and the look on his face makes me hitch my breath. It’s as if all the worry falls away and he looks so beautiful it mesmerises me.
“Thank you, my little flower, you have made me look differently at things.”
“Me?”
I am genuinely confused, and he nods. “I may have everything that money can buy, but I don’t have anything near as valuable as you. Perhaps you should stay.”
His words cause something surprising to flare up inside me, and it shocks me more than what he just said. I want to stay, more than anything I want to be with him, never leave and not because of what he owns but because of how he makes me feel.
Then he says sadly, “I wish I could keep you, but it wouldn’t be fair.”
“On who?”
I am genuinely confused, and he looks so defeated I wonder what happened in his life to make him so wrapped in shadows.
“You Ella, this life, it’s dark, intense and destructive. If I dragged you into my world, it would only be a matter of time before you were ruined. It’s why I prefer to live alone. To close the world out as much as possible, because why would I want to inflict this prison on anyone else? Especially not someone like you. Maybe it’s best if we end this now. Carry on as we were before either of us gets hurt.”
“Are you kidding me?”
I feel so hurt by his words and turn away and hate the fact he doesn’t try to stop me. The tears blind my eyes as I reach for my clothes and where I was so deliriously happy one minute, I am broken the next.
I try desperately hard not to cry because he has gone from making me feel like the most desirable woman in the world to the cheapest and I will never forgive him for that.
To make matters worse, he doesn’t appear to care as he dresses quickly and snaps, “Come, we should go.”
He is retreating into his hard shell and keeping me out, and I wonder what made him change in the blink of an eye. Was this just about sex, did he use me back there because it certainly feels that way? As I struggle to keep up with him, I feel so betrayed. How could he ruin our perfect moment by making me feel so disposable? I don’t think I can ever forgive him for that.
