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Dexter
This feels so different. Losing control to Holly is not as bad as I thought it would be and for the first time in many years, I could almost forget everything that ties me to a lifetime of decisions, regret, and trying to do the right thing. This is the right thing—for today, anyway, and I just enjoy a carefree time that has appeared out of nowhere.
Releasing into Holly was long overdue because it wasn’t just my seed that left me, it was tension. It felt so good to lose it for one brief moment and as I held her shaking body against mine; I thank God for sending her to me.
Today is different in every way and I owe her that at least, so once we clean up and dress, I take her hand and pull her close for a long, deep, passionate kiss.
“Thank you.” I whisper against her mouth and she says, “I should be thanking you; you gave me my dream.”
“It was my pleasure, ma’am.”
I adopt a slow drawl and raise my hat to her and she giggles, transforming her usual guarded expression into one of joy and beauty.
She is absolutely breath-taking and I could stare at her all day long, but instead we mount our horses and head back at a more leisurely pace.
As we ride side by side, it feels good showing her my rustic kingdom. I point out places of interest along the way and it feels good sharing this place with her.
When we make it back to the yard, one of the hands appears to take our horses and as we reward them both with a pat and a fistful of hay, I love how that makes me feel. It feels good to give pleasure of a more natural kind. Seeing Holly’s bright smile and hearing her laugh makes me feel good about myself for once.
I decide to walk back to the house and as we set off hand in hand, it all feels so natural.
“This has been an amazing day, thank you.”
Holly’s soft voice interrupts my thinking and I smile.
“It has.”
“So, what happens next, obviously something’s changed. Is it Colton?”
She looks anxious and I wonder if she’s been holding this in all day and feel a little bad for her because she won’t like what she hears and it could ruin the mood.
Choosing my words carefully, I say firmly, “Your stepbrother is helping with our enquiries. Your job is done and now we can start the next stage.”
“Is he ok?” Her voice shakes and picturing the state he’s probably in right now, I say darkly, “I have no reason to think otherwise.”
“But you don’t know for sure.”
“No, baby, I don’t but whatever happens is because he made it that way. Don’t worry about your stepbrother because he certainly didn’t offer you the same courtesy when he got you involved in this.”
She falls silent and after a while, says timidly, “What happens when we leave?”
“We head back to Media Corp and your new life. Your belongings are being taken to my apartment in the city and your job is waiting as my apprentice. Helen, my assistant, is making that happen and so, first thing tomorrow, we go to work.”
Once again, she is silent and I wonder what’s running through her mind right now and then she shocks me by squeezing my hand tightly and saying, “I’m afraid, Dexter.”
“Of what?” Spinning around, I lift her face to look at mine and see the doubt crowding her gorgeous eyes. “What’s the matter, baby, this is what you wanted?”
“I thought I did, but now…” She tails off and I’m genuinely confused. “Do you regret this?”
I’m almost fearful of the answer as she shakes her head and her eyes fill with tears. “I will never regret this—experience. I suppose it’s the unknown that’s scaring me. I want to be the best, to work hard and make a name for myself, but I’m starting to realize the name I’ll make is probably not one I want to be called by.”
“What do you mean?” I run my thumb over her lips and smile into her eyes because, for some reason, I want to comfort the usually strong woman who looks so scared of something.
“I will be known as the woman who slept her way into her position. They will all hate me and look at me as if I’m not worth their time because I have been plucked from the bottom to be by your side. I haven’t earned it.”
Leaning down, I kiss her lips and whisper, “You have.”
Breaking away, she says angrily, “Exactly. I’ve earned it on my back, just like they will think. You say it was the information that got me the job, that doesn’t make it any better. I sold my family for personal gain. I did everything you asked of me and now I have to live with what I did it for.”
