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Holly
Aday of mixed emotions that takes some sorting.
Dexter has been different today and showed me a side to him that is almost human. I prefer it, in fact. The softer, more vulnerable, yet playful side to a man with more layers than anyone I’ve ever known.
Tonight, we eat dinner with his staff, or as I thought, friends. Jason, Maisy and Sam sit around the table and it’s an easy atmosphere.
Dexter is less guarded with them. Wicked banter passes around the table like the dishes that are laden with delicious food, lovingly prepared by Maisy.
I love every part of this. Never having the whole family meal thing going on, I am eager to appreciate every fine minute of this one, despite the fact it’s a strange mixture of family, friend and employment status.
It strikes me that we are all here to play some part in Dexter’s Prince’s life. His bodyguard and best friend, who undoubtedly has his full loyalty. They have an easy relationship and it’s good to see. Maisy and Jason keep his beloved ranch running and provide home comforts when he needs it. Then there’s me. His sex slave and apprentice all rolled into one. And I’m still not sure how I feel about that.
Seeing Maisy and Jason and the obvious loving relationship they share creates a deep yearning inside me for one of my own.
I want this. The dream. Then again, I want the power, the empire and the career. Above all of this, though, I want the man and it’s that crashing realization that shocks me the most. Why do I want him? I still don’t know, but there’s something about him that pulls me in and devours me whole because life without him would be nowhere near as interesting.
I help Maisy clean the dishes and she whispers, “Good day?” She winks and I wonder if it’s so obvious because ever since our picnic, I’ve been walking on air.
“It was good thanks.”
I grin and she nudges me playfully. “It’s good to see him happy. You make him happy, Holly, I just want you to know that.”
“Do I, I’m not so sure?”
“Take it from a gal who sees from the outside. That man is hard to read but lately he looks almost human.”
“Now I know you’re lying.”
We giggle and I say enviously, “How long have you been married?”
“Oh honey…” she giggles. “Jason and me ain’t married. We just live each day as it comes and I’m more than happy about that.”
“Seriously, but I thought…” I feel a little shocked by that and she laughs softly. “I love the brute, but marriage is way off. We were childhood sweethearts, but the road ended past school finishing and hooking up again. You see, honey, Jason took me for granted for a very long time. He thought I was always going to be there and didn’t care about my feelings. I found out he cheated on me when he was out of town and it wasn’t the first time.”
Now my mouth drops open and she sighs, staring out of the window at the brightly star lit sky.
“For a while there, we went our separate ways. I made a few mistakes myself and tried to live a different life, but when we met by chance one day, those old memories flooded back and after a while we started dating again.”
“You forgave him, that must have taken a lot.”
“Honey, when something is right, and it takes a while for you both to see it, past actions have no bearing on the future. Jason was sorry. I was forgiving and we both know it can never happen again. It’s why we live like this, no rings to bind us, just desire. We both want it but don’t want to take it for granted, and that is why every single time he asks me, I refuse.”
“To marry him.”
She nods. “Yes, you see I never want him to stop trying to keep me.”
She smiles brightly. “Anyway, I’ll make some coffee, go and spend time with your man, I’ll bring it over.”
“He’s not…” She winks. “He is, you just don’t know it yet—either of you.”
Dexter smiles as I approach and it takes my breath away. I’m not used to seeing this side of him. The one where he is relaxed and, dare I say it, almost normal. A man like him can never be normal, that’s definite, but the lazy way he drags his eyes over my body with a sense of ownership, I’m ashamed to admit, turns me on and makes me almost think this might work.
I look at Jason a little differently as I sit beside Dexter and he pulls me in to his side. The guys are playing cards and it feels good to be here. Part of a small intimate gathering with no stress or need to play a part.
Dexter has a shot of whiskey by his side and his cards in one hand, me in the other, and I love it.
I don’t even bother to understand what game they’re playing because cards have always bored me senseless. Instead, I snuggle up to him and imagine a time when this was actually real. Dexter was my husband, even. We have a family of our own and, as the delightful dream claims my consciousness, I drift off to sleep.
