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I see right through the facade of pain and anger.
The man who claims to be unlovable is falling for me, just as I am him, and there’s nothing quite as terrifying as being completely exposed and at the mercy of another human being.
Chapter 12
Xander
When we land in Vegas, I’m much calmer. Which probably has something to do with the amazing blowjob Mouse gave me earlier and the fact that she’s actually listened to me for the remainder of the flight.
Still, guilt consumes me every time I look at her. I didn’t want to hurt her, but I needed her to know how serious I was about her feelings for me. She can’t know how consumed with need I am for her because she’ll only use it against me.
She already knows I don’t want to hurt her, but hopefully, I’ve set her straight with this whole… ‘I think I love you’ bullshit. She doesn’t know the first thing about love, or all it entails… what it means to be with a man like me. I watched my mother love my father for years, and it never turned out well for her. He beat her, stripped her bare, and turned her against her children. Love ruined my mother. It destroyed her, and I couldn’t let Mouse make the same mistake.
My eyes dart to Keira and my brother. They seem so happy, so in love, and parts of me wish I could have the same kind of life they do. But I’m not stupid enough to hope for something like that. I can never have what they have, because I’m not like Damon. He married Keira to save her from my wrath. He protected her. He toned his darkness down.
He let go of his pain for his wife, but I don’t know that I’m capable of doing that. Not when my enemies would be chomping at the bit to put a bullet in her head.
Love isn’t an option for me, not even close. I need to remain the dark, calloused boss that I am. I shake the silly thoughts away as Damon and Keira exit the plane first. I wait a few moments before I follow with Mouse closely by my side.
“Remember the rules.” I leave the threat unspoken but we both know it’s there. Mouse nods, her eyes trained on the floor. Good girl.
We all pile into the limo waiting for us on the landing strip. It can easily seat eight people but with the uncomfortable silence between us, it suddenly feels too small. Keira is staring daggers at me, making me smile on the inside. On the outside, I show no emotion whatsoever, just like I’ve learned to do.
“You are aware she is a human, right?” Keira sneers, completely ignoring anything my brother said to her. She’s putting her nose into something it doesn’t belong in and obviously, I need to make sure she understands that.
“I’m sure you’re more than aware that I don’t give a fuck what you have to say. After all, if it weren’t for my brother, you’d be dead, too.”
Mouse seems to gasp beside me, but Keira’s looking at me with murder in her eyes, not fear. I smirk like the bastard I am.
“Xander, knock it the fuck off.” Damon snarls, grabbing onto Keira’s hands as if he already knows what she wants to do to me. I bet if I gave her a gun, she’d pull the trigger. She’d be smart, too. I killed her brother. An eye for an eye, right?
“He can’t treat her like that, Damon. It’s clear he is hurting her. Look at her.” I can see the conflict in Damon’s eyes at Keira’s words. He wants to please his wife, but he knows better than to get into my business.
“She’s none of our concern.” The coldness in Damon’s voice shocks even me. Usually, he speaks to Keira so kindly, and with love, but right now, I can tell he’s clearly pissed.
Mouse remains quiet, with her gaze on her hands.
“I’m not hurting her. I haven’t done a fucking thing to her. I’ve merely asked her to follow my fucking directions.”
Keira’s eyes widen. “You are aware her name isn’t Mouse, right? It’s Ella. Fucking Ella. She has a name, Xander. She has feelings, and she is a damn human, not your property. I will not let you hurt her.”
I’d never considered Mouse’s name to be Ella but looking at her, it seems to fit her. Sweet, naive, a princess. Keira’s words spark a fire deep inside me. She’s accusing me of hurting Mouse, and while I haven’t been very kind to her, I haven’t truly hurt her, not like I know I should. Hell, I’m here looking for Mouse’s sister, all with the intention of killing my father. I’ve never done such a thing for someone.
