Page 120 of Cocky Caveman


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The mention of Tucker calling the MacDougalls from Alaska sets my heart beating a ditty.

Then my gushing bubble bursts. “I don’t have grass that I want to get eaten by all these cute miniatures. Even Pearl isn’t allowed to munch on my neat large square of grass because it is for the guests to enjoy. I don’t know how to look after these new little guys. Dogs I can handle.” Disappointment steals its way through me.

“Lucky ye have the Mighty MacDougall Brothers on yer side watching yer back, and most of us live next door.” Angus puffs out his chest and beats it in a deliberate show of male prowess.

“What the hell are you doing, Angus?” Paisley laughs.

“Postulating, dear sis-in-law, because we come bearing solutions.”

Gwen has stayed quiet the whole time. Until now. “Oh, boy,” she murmurs.

“Fear not, Aussie sheilas. We want to extend the offer to put a gate at the bottom of yer property, Ophelia, on the fence we share, with yer permission. We have loads of land, and as already stated, we have fenced off a large area on our grassy bit of property that could do with getting a mowing by these creatures. To be honest, it was our Plan B in case ye didn’t want the little guys until we could rehome them somewhere.” He shrugs casually. “Ye can let the miniatures through to our property, and Pearl and the goats can munch on grass and have an area to stretch their legs whenever ye want. Then ye can bring them back through. Ye can corral them when ye need to, and they can all sleep in that big barn of yours together. We can help ye to fit out more stalls inside the barn. We can let ye know the dietary needs these lads need to stay healthy, and we did bring along food to get ye started. It’s quite a lot of food from the old man. Also, imagine the review rating you will get from yer guests when they meet all yer animals. Bill and Ben and Bobby and Banjo are old friends so that they will be no trouble with each other.”

“How does that sound?” Wiley asks, looking hopeful. As if I could say no to these orphaned creatures.

It is only four other animals in the barn, and Coco and Oscar will sleep inside with me. None of them had to sell the idea to me. Knowing Tucker put them up to it, my heart squeezes, and he’s thinking of me.

“If you ever need time away, we can look after the animals for you,” Paisley adds unnecessarily. “I’ve grown attached to them already. They have the most loving personalities.”

I hold my hands up in front of me. “Everyone, I was never going to say no to adopting these beautiful creatures.” I laugh at the way the Mighty MacDougall Brothers all throw an arm in the air as though in victory.

“Thank you, everyone, and thank you, Tucker,” I say to nobody in particular. “The Mini-Ms and Pearl are going to love the company.” I assume it gets captured on a phone for him to watch at some point.

“Are you ready, lads?” Angus has a cheeky grin on his face.

“Yep,” they all say in unison.

Angus holds his other hand in the air as though he’s about to conduct a symphony orchestra. “Tucker says—”

“MEERRRYY CHRISTMAS, BEAUTIFUL! HAPPY OPENING DAY TOMORROW,” they all shout at the top of their voices.

Aaand the Mini-Ms faint all over the grass and Pearl.

“Quick! Take a picture,” Paisley shouts.

The Mighty MacDougall Brothers all whip their phones out and snap away.

“This will never get old.” Brodie laughs.

“I think we need to break out the Champagne and the pav,” Gwen announces. “You just became a parent, again, times six.”

“I’m up for tasting whatever a pav is.” Paisley claps her hands together repeatedly like a seal.

“Oh, a pavlova, my new friend, is an Aussie delight. Once you go a slice of pav, you won’t be able to hold back from having a second helping.” Gwen winks.

“To pav,” the Mighty MacDougalls chorus.

“Would you like to invite your mother and father over for dessert?” I ask Angus because he’s the closest.

He leans into my ear. “About now, my father is probably giving his wife dessert.”

Ookaay. I’ll let that one slide.

I’ve only two bottles of bubbly in the fridge and six champagne glasses, but Gwen makes that work by adding three wine glasses while I slice up the pavlova made from egg whites and caster sugar whisked with an electric beater until stiff peaks form. Then add in a bit of white vinegar and cornflour, but you guys here would use cornstarch, whisking again, plop it onto a baking tray in a big attractive mountainous swirl of meringue and bake. Then we topped it off with whipped cream and strawberries and raspberries, but you can add whatever you like as a topping. Then sift a little icing sugar over the top.

I have many more mouths to feed now, so no generous servings for everyone.

Once everybody has a glass and a plate, I make a toast. “To new friends and my wonderful gifts. Thank you.”

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