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Shamus rubs my back until I calm down.
Before I embarrass myself further, I release my hold on him and stand up. “Sorry about the outburst. I think I had better take that shower and try to fix this face.”
“You are a warrior. Never be sorry about having feelings for the ones you love. My father and I have been through some rough patches, but we made it back to each other. My father’s first wife, Davina, my mother, passed not long after high school. Wiley, Angus, and I share the same mother, whereas the twins and Fraser’s mother is Ellen, Tavish’s second wife. He married her after leaving my mother when Ellen got pregnant with Fraser. What I am trying to say is, love can be a battle, it can get complicated, or it can be straight-up staring you in the face, waiting for yer acceptance.”
I take hold of his hands, giving them a gentle squeeze. “Shamus, I didn’t know. I am sorry you lost your mother.”
“Thank you. It wasn’t easy on the three older sons with our father remarrying, but we are all on good terms now. I won’t lie. It was rocky there when the three of us were younger, not understanding how our mother and father could no longer live under one roof, and then she died, but we are all human, and I love my family. I am very fortunate to have my siblings and parents, even if Ellen is only ten years older than Wiley, which is a little weird, but she is a good woman. What happened between our parents is no reflection on us. I know that now.”
I don’t ask any questions. I can see the pain it cost him to tell me this much veiled in his eyes, so I give his hands another reassuring squeeze before letting them go.
“What I want ye to understand is I know the power of grief. After losing my mother, I went a little wild there for several years. I, too, ran, and I just didn’t care about my life and what I was doing to myself. Wiley and Angus handled it a lot better than I did. Ye are doing well, lass. Ye aren’t screwing about with yer life and wasting years acting out. Yer determination to succeed and make yer family proud after what ye have been through is admirable. I wouldn’t let my brothers or friends in during that rough time to help me. I was full of myself and a dick. And I am so glad ye have no idea what I am talking about,” he mumbles that last sentence, looking down at his feet, waving his hand in the air as though to dismiss the conversation. “That is a story for another day.”
“Hey, it couldn’t have been that bad. You came out the other side looking like a rock star.”
Shamus chokes out a brittle laugh. “Yeah, something like that.” He checks the time on his phone. “Och, ye have to be getting ready, lass. Ye promised yer guests a couple of Aussie hosts. You’ve got to get dressed.” He stands, so I take his cue and do the same. “The MacDougalls have ye covered until you are ready to make an appearance,” Shamus says, then walks over to my open bedroom door, pausing at the threshold. “Don’t forget to look in the freezer. Tucker remembered something else ye love.”
“Rum and raisin ice cream?” I say, brightening up.
“You will have to wait and see. Oh, and sorry about coming over early, but Angus has something up his sleeve and, well, ye will see soon enough. He’s roped Wiley and me into his shenanigans. I think yer guests will approve. I hope ye still feel like having a good time after our chat. I didn’t mean to tell ye about my woes.”
“I am here anytime you want to talk about anything. I am a good listener, and I will be good once I cover up my red honker. I wouldn’t dream of letting Gwen down and whatever Angus has planned.”
“Atta girl,” he says before closing my bedroom door.
Gathering up some fresh underwear, I’m about to head off to the bathroom when I hear voices murmuring, then a soft double-knock hits my door.
I call out, “Coming, Shamus.” It is the only assumption I have because he was just here.
I swing the door open to be greeted by Jensen. “Not Shamus.” He smiles sheepishly.
“Oh, hey, Peterson, what’s up?” I am cringing inwardly at my words. I gather we are going to have that talk now.
“Aussie, do you have one minute?” He looks to his right.
I put a hand to his chest and give him a gentle push. I poke my head around the doorframe. “Shamus, whatcha doing?”
“Och, erm…”
“I thought so. I’m a big girl—”
Both men mutter under their breaths.
“—and you both know what I mean. Geez. I know I am a short arse. Let me rephrase, “I do owe Jensen the words he needs to hear. I grab Jensen by his arm and yank him over the threshold. “Bye, Shamus.” Then I shut the door, turning to Jensen, stuffing my underwear into the robe pocket before crossing my arms under my breasts.
“Hey,” Jensen says, clearly amused by my actions.
“Hey. Take a seat wherever while I have my shower, and then we will talk while I get ready.”
“Sounds good to me.” He sits his tall, lean frame on the end of my bed, resting his elbows on his knees, and silently watches me collect my outfit because I won’t be getting dressed in my bedroom. Then I am locking the bathroom door.
I place the clothing on the chair in the corner and then put both hands on the counter, staring at myself in the mirror.
I don’t want to lose Jensen’s friendship.
I look down at my hands.
I’m going to lose his friendship.
