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Alice calls out my name, distracting me.
I twist away, turning my back on blondie. “Alice, please stay indoors,” I call out. I’ve got a live one who is unpredictable, and I don’t trust the sanity of this female around Alice.
I start turning back just as Birgitta launches herself in my direction. “Let me talk to Angus, you bitch!” Crazy lady isn’t giving up on her brand of crazy.
I powerwalk toward the decking and hurriedly continue, “Angus, she won’t leave my property, and I no longer carry the badge that will allow me to get the situation under control.”
“Honey, I am on my way. I just got home, but I am coming—”
“Ow…” Birgitta is clawing at me with her nails, dislodging my hair towel, yanking hard enough to jerk my head back, then she’s tearing at the damp strands. I spin away from her, risking losing hair. “What the hell, lady, get a grip of yourself, and act civil.”
Next, I am landing hard on the decking with a loud thud and a groan as we roll about in a girl-on-girl scrimmage. Well, this escalated to a whole new level of crazy. All we need is a male audience cheering us on and a blow-up pool filled with mud.
Angus shouts something from my phone as it flies across the deck to settle close by. I am too busy rolling about with a wild banshee to hear what he said.
I don’t want to get sued for damages to this fool’s body, so I am only doing enough to keep myself from getting injured because I don’t want to jeopardize my business.
I try to extricate myself from her claws, but she’s gone feral on me. Every time I roll away, she is on me. I know I am getting scratched up where my robe has come undone, revealing skin. I hope she’s had her rabies shots.
“Holy hell, woman, you need to stop. It is getting you nowhere.” Girl’s got stamina. I’ll give her that. “We are adults,” I groan when she smacks me back against the hard decking with a resounding thud.
I am beginning to think she is enjoying wrestling me because she has lost all commonsense and reasoning.
I grunt when I catch a punch in the nose, snapping my head to the side, my eyes tearing up from the force. This is the thanks I get for my sane efforts, and then she bites down hard on my right shoulder. “Oow…” I let rip with a flow of curse words under my breath. “Stop that.” I tickle her neck enough for her to relax her jaw, then I shove her head away from my throbbing shoulder. “You are behaving like an animal. You need to stop, and we can talk.” I taste blood trickling slowly over my lips.That’s just great.
I wipe the blood away with my arm, my focus never leaving her.
She’s not so pretty looking anymore the way she’s eyeing me up, all feral-like. “Bitch, your face rubs me the wrong—”
“What is your problem, Birgitta?” I grab the balled fist in the palm of my hand, that just swung toward my face for Round Two and knock her off me like I mean business. “That’s it! I have had enough of this idiocy.” She is assaulting me unprovoked. The first time was a free hit; the second is just bullshit.
I push up onto my knees, wishing I had a tissue, but she’s quick and determined, clinging to my back, leaving me no choice. I force myself backward until her spine hits the deck hard, eliciting a grunt from her as my back slams against her chest, hoping I have done enough to wind her.
When her hold relaxes, I tuck and roll, moving swiftly away until I get the advantage, pinning her legs together with my thighs and grasping her wrists, raising them out to the side of each of her ears. I apply the pressure needed to keep her subdued and from bucking me.
“Calm down, and I will release you.” We are both breathing heavily. “What are you twelve? Let’s act like ladies.” I duck my head, wiping my nose against my upper arm.Ugh.I hate the taste of blood.
“Get the hell off me. You’re bleeding all over my expensive clothes.”
“Well, whose fault is that? Should have thought it through before you attacked and assaulted me.Youpunchedmein the face.Youbitme.Remember? As far as I can tell, I have done nothing to warrant this behavior from you. It isallon you. So how about a truce or a time-out, and I’ll get you a drink, and we can talk in a civilized manner?”
“Grrr…” She bares her teeth at me.
I quirk a brow. The woman is feral. “You sure you aren’t hiding a werewolf under all that pretty?” I try not to laugh. I honestly do.
I fail.
She bucks hard, but I am ready for her. I have had to take men down three times her weight. If only I had a pair of handcuffs handy. And a bunch of Kleenex because the metallic taste of blood is gross.
“Get off me, you bitch!” Somebody has a temper when they are on the losing side.
“Nice try, lady, but no can do until we come to an understanding. I fear you have it in your pretty head to punch me again. I have a lunch to go to, so you are inconveniencing me immensely with your attitude, not to mention the makeup I am going to have to use to patch up your feral behavior.” She clenches her hands into tight balls. “Still not giving me happy vibes, lady.”
“I want Shamus.”
“Well, we can’t always have what we want, now, can we. But for the interim, how about we talk through a few things, and that way, you can settle down enough to act like an adult and stand on your own two feet. As it is, I feel threatened by your hatred toward me, and I don’t want my dear friend, Alice, getting caught up in your unpredictable behavior.” I call out over my shoulder, “Alice, are you still outside?” Because I felt like we were getting watched.
“Yes.”
