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I shake my head and unlock the cell door. Immediately she sits up looking at me with wide eyes, When I step closer she scoots back on her mattress until her back hits the wall.
“You need to eat,” I tell her walking until I’m standing right in front of the mattress.
“Why?” Her voice is quiet and raspy as if she hasn’t been drinking enough water either.
“If you don’t eat, you are going to die.”
“Aren’t I going to die soon anyway?” She looks up at me with those big blue eyes of hers and even the dark circles underneath, the beauty of them still pours out of her.
“Not necessarily.” I know the chances that she is going to end up dead are high but I don’t want to think about that, not right now.
“I doubt men buy women like their at a meat market just so they can take them out on nice dates… I’d rather starve to death then die at the hands of some sicko.” In my mind I know that she is right and it would probably be a kindness to let her die this way instead of selling her to the highest bidder. Yet, the thought of her dying has my chest aching.
I pull the pill bottle from my pocket and hand it to her. She looks down at it but makes no move to take it. Jesus this woman is infuriating. Instead of forcing into her hand like I want too I throw it onto the mattress beside her and turn around, heading for the door.
“Don’t leave… please,” she begs and I almost lose it right then. Balling my hands into fists I grab the tray of food from the door. When I turn back around to look at her, her eyes are watery like she is about to start crying. Fuck me. She looks like a mess, but a beautiful mess, like the sky after a horrible thunderstorm. I close the distance between us and hold the tray in front of her face.
“Take a pill and eat.” I order. She looks down at the tray examining the food.
“Will you stay if I eat?”
Bargaining. She’s bargaining with me. I consider her offer for a moment even though I already know what the answer should be. I sit down next to her on the mattress holding the tray of food on my lap. As soon as I settle, she scoots over to me so her body is pushed up against mine.
I should push her away… I should get up and walk out of here, but I know I can’t. I feel compelled to see this through to the end, to at least make sure she’s safe for the rest of her stay here. I break off a piece of the sandwich and hand it to her.
Her small hand reaches out to grab it and her thin fingers brush against mine as she does. Her skin is still cold and suddenly I have to fight the urge to pull her onto my lap and throw my arms around her. I want to hold her close, protect her, make certain she’s taken care of. Everything I shouldn’t do for her I want too.
She starts taking small bites of the already bite size piece I’ve handed to her. I watch her chew and it seems as if even this simple task takes an enormous effort for her. After a few bites she leans her head against my shoulder and closes her eyes while she eats.
“You need to take one of these. It’s just some pain medicine.” I don’t tell her that this is more like morphine and less like tylenol.
“I don’t want to take any drugs,” she tells me sleepilly.
“It’ll help you feel better.”
“Yeah and make me weaker…easier to be taken advantage of.” Her words spark a fear deep in my belly. She’s right. If she’s sleepy, knocked out on pain meds then any of the fucking bastards in this place can come in and take advantage of her.
“No one will touch you.” The words vibrate out of me.
“Don’t lie to me Ivan.” I straighten up a bit at her use of my name. I didn’t think about it when the guys called me by my name in her presence the other night. And now I suddenly wish I knew her name.
“I know that far worse is to come for me. The least you can do is be honest with me, if you aren’t going to let me go.”
“No one will touch you, or hurt you again. I won’t let them.” I don’t realize how much I mean those words until I say them, and I know deep down that I won’t let anyone hurt her, or touch her again. I can’t let her go, no matter how compelled I feel too but I can protect her, and that’s just as good right?
