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Before I even made it to the first step, I found Mathis blocking my path. Those damned enticing golden eyes of his were looking at me with concern and sympathy, and I couldn’t take it. A sob came out, and Mathis opened his arms. It was too much. The pain over my mom, the concern and empathy I saw in his face, and the kind gesture, it all busted open the damn on my feelings and before I could blink, I was in his arms, sobbing as though I’d lost my mother altogether.
12
Once my emotional melt-down was somewhat under control, Mathis and I moved to the loveseat positioned in the loft only a few feet away. When he brushed away a stray strand of hair that hung over my face, I nearly lost my control again. Why was he so sweet? Why did he have to be so nice? Why did he even care? Afterall, I was just some girl he’d hooked up with on vacation. I felt like a complete idiot. Here I was, all puffy-eyed, and sniffling like a child, and he, this big strong cowboy, was holding me in his arms like I was some fragile porcelain doll. It was just too much.
Mathis continued to stroke my hair as if I were an animal he was trying to sooth, and though I will admit that it was soothing to me, it also felt weird. “Mathis, I’m sorry, I am just really emotional lately, and I’ve got a lot going on. I should really just go.”
Mathis’s strong features scrunched into a frown filled with worry, and he shook his head. “There’s no reason to apologize, Callie, it’s understandable that you’re emotional. Would you like to talk about it? Maybe getting it off your chest will help?”
I smiled at him, and it lingered on my lips a little too long, my eyes holding his until I felt the spark of sexual need I always felt in his presence, and I looked away rapidly. “I don’t think that’s a good idea…”
I felt his big rough hand against my cheek, and he slowly pulled my face toward him. “Callie it’s not good to keep things bottled up inside…”
I did the only thing I could. I didn’t want to talk about my problems with him. So, I leaned forward and kissed him. He stopped talking immediately, his mouth reciprocating the kiss without hesitation. Things only escalated from there, and I was intrigued that the same level of intense sexual attraction seemed to exist in both of us as it had the first time. It wasn’t long before Mathis had scooped me up into his arms and I was aware of being carried somewhere, but at that moment, I was lost in the deliciousness of the kiss, and the erotic feeling his hands created as they travelled over my ass.
The sound of a door closing tried to penetrate the fog of my mind, but I wouldn’t let it. I didn’t want to think, I didn’t want to cry, all I wanted was to see if the magic that had occurred when I’d slept with this man was a onetime thing, or if it was possible for it to happen again. Mathis wasted no time yanking my clothes off me as he lowered me down onto what I guessed was his bed. My hands were shaking so badly, I fumbled several times trying to rid him of his jeans, so eventually, he took over, yanking them off to reveal the full proof of his arousal. Again, I marveled at the sheer perfection of him.
With no more clothes left between us, Mathis came over my body, his calloused hands trailing up and down, over each curve, dip and plane. Moans escaped me as the friction built between his hands and my desire filled body, until I couldn’t take it anymore, and I was practically begging him to take me.
Mathis chuckled, the sound was deep and raspy with desire, as he said, “Easy there, beautiful.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. I shoved him over, climbing atop him, and I took what I wanted. As soon as he filled me, my head fell back and I moaned loudly, the ecstasy of the feelings he emitted in me overwhelming and drugging. When I looked back down into his face, his gold eyes watched me with such intensity, such desire, that I couldn’t bear to look anymore. Instead, I closed my eyes and rocked my hips until we were both panting and moaning. My orgasm racked through me like a torpedo, causing me to cry out. I felt him let go at the same moment, and his growls filled the room alongside my cries.
Mathis rolled us over onto our sides, where we lay breathing heavily, both of us trying to recover from the intensity of the passion we shared. God, I was so screwed. Once was one thing, but to experience something like this with him twice, well, how the hell was I supposed to keep my heart in my chest and not hand it to him on a silver platter? I didn’t have room in my life for feelings like I was afraid I could feel creeping up on me. I had way too much going on with my mom, my stupid curse I had to hide from everyone, everything. As I lay there, thinking about the best way to unentangle myself from this sex-driven situation I was in, I became aware of a feeling slowly working its way into my mind.
The feeling was at first, curiosity, mixed with a little confusion. A moment later, it turned into full-fledged excitement, and I slowly turned my head toward the doorway. There was nothing there but a closed door. I sighed in relief, but the feeling was still there. Glancing at Mathis, I was surprised to find him staring at me.
“What’s going on in that brain of yours, Callie? I can’t decide if you’re thinking of an escape plan, or if you’re regretting this.”
The concern I could hear in his voice tugged at my heart, but I couldn’t let myself walk that path. “Actually, I was wondering if you have a dog?”
Mathis frowned, laughed and then shook his head in bemusement. “Yeah, I do, but you didn’t look like you were thinking about that…”
I let his words linger unanswered as I attempted to move away from him. “I really need to get going. My folks will be wondering where I am…and I…well, I should go.” It was an effort to pull away from him, because deep down, I wanted to curl up in his arms and never leave. That thought frightened me more than any. I’d always guarded my heart with guys, but I knew, without a doubt, that Mathis could break it. I couldn’t allow myself to be in that position. I’d watched my sister fall for the hunky cowboy and get her heart ripped out, and I wasn’t willing to put myself through that kind of torture.
“Callie, why are you trying to run away?” Mathis sounded hurt, but I refused to look at him.
The feelings that were still pummeling me were distracting, and I tripped trying to get my jeans back on. It was Mathis’s strong arms which held me in place, and I had to close my eyes to fight the pull to give myself up to him. “I’m sorry, Mathis, I really got to go.”
Fully dressed, I headed for the door like I had a fire behind me, but my biggest mistake was glancing back at him to see the wounded look on his face. With a groan, I yanked the door open, and froze. Sitting on the opposite side of the door was the biggest dog I’d ever seen. He must have easily weighed over two hundred pounds, and his head when sitting nearly reached my chest. I swallowed. The dog eyed me, his tail thumping slowly on the wooden floor beneath him, and his emotions buffeted me.
Happy. That was literally the only emotion he exuded was pure, undiluted happiness. I wanted to laugh, this giant black and tan dog with his intimidating stature was nothing more than a giant ball of friendliness. It took about one whole minute begore the dog launched himself at me, taking me down in one try. I yelped in surprise as he tackled me to the floor, his big pink tongue licking trails of slobber all over my face. I heard Mathis Calling to the dog, but the animal was so intent on licking me to death he ignored him. With a hand on his chest, I said, “Sit!”
Instantly, the dog moved back, sat on his haunches and studied me in guilt. His long tail continued to thud loudly behind him, and his emotions remained full of happy exuberance, but he obeyed the command. Mathis pulled me up, looked from me as I wiped the slobber off my face, to his dog, and had the decency to blush.
“Geez, I’m sorry about that, Callie. Yogi’s really friendly, but I’ve never had him do that before. You sure are good with dogs. I wish he’d listen to me like that.”
Now it was my turn to blush. I didn’t want to meet his eyes. “It’s ok, no biggy. I gotta go, Mathis. I’ll see you around.” I rushed from the room, down the stairs and out the door with him on my heels.
“Callie, would you slow down, dammit. Can I at least get your phone number? This is crazy. Come on, you have to admit, there’s something between us, and this has got to be fate, you being back in Durango, me inheriting this place…”
I jumped in my truck, looked out my window, pausing for a moment to take in the scene before me. Mathis stood on his rustic deck, jeans unbuttoned, torso and chest bare-and sinfully beautiful-with his giant dog beside him, his dark hair tousled from sex. God, just looking at him made my mouth water, but no. I couldn’t do this. Not now. Maybe not ever.
“I’m sorry.” It was all I could manage as I felt tears fill my eyes and I put the truck into gear. I was such a complete fool.
Pizazz nudged me with her velvety soft nose as I brushed her vigorously. Tears streaked down my face, but somehow, I managed to keep my sobs silent. Three days had gone by since I’d slept with Mathis, again, and I was still a simpering, snotty mess. It didn’t matter how much I tried to deny it, the truth was: I wasn’t as strong as I thought, and I’d already fallen for him. My mom and dad had left that morning for her first appointment with the cancer doctor, and she hadn’t wanted anyone else to come along. The ranch seemed to have fallen into a vigil of silence as everyone went through the routine of chores with no humor, and very little small talk. It reminded me just how much a mother really influenced a home.
She was our teacher, our guide, our shoulder to cry on, and our warm safe spot to snuggle up. Now, none of us knew what the future would hold, and it left us on edge and depressed. I prayed fervently, begging God not to take my mom, not yet, but I knew in the end, it was up to him, not me. A voice behind me interrupted my emotional meltdown, and I had to struggle to pull myself together.
