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And she never will be.
But she’s always with me and that, I will never let go.
Chapter Four
Cas
Ihead for the bar and come to a stop before the door. The first time I walked through the bar door, Oak was shoving me inside, wanting me to meet Michael. The night I became the club’s president, I came through this door with the woman I loved, battered and bruised, having no idea if she was going to live. Tonight, this is the last time I’ll step inside as their president. When I step out, life will be irrevocably changed and the hierarchy different. I’ve kept myself scarce over the last few hours, not wanting to be around the brothers as they come to terms with the vote they’re due to give. Leaning against the wall, I listen to the background music and the brothers chatting away. Their laughter, their joking around, it’s all they need to get through the tougher times, and I soak it in while I get myself together. There’s no way I can walk in there with a fleck of doubt on my face. They’d jump all over it and waste time trying to talk me out of my decision. Inhaling deeply, I step inside and there’s a shift in the air. Brothers go quiet, and the music is turned down. Not a single brother meets my eye.
Walking through the tension, I get myself a drink from behind the bar and take a long pull before slamming the bottle of beer down. This shit is weird as fuck, yet I’m at complete ease. From the murmurs I’ve heard around the club, most are ready for the takeover, but the old-timers, they’re clinging to what they know.
Even though they’ve watched Leo grow into the man he is today and know him as well as they know me, he’s still unknown as the head of the Lost Souls Motorcycle Club. But the old-timers also know this has to happen. Not just because I wish it so, but because if I’m not wanting to lead any longer, it will only bring destruction to the club in the long run.
“It’s time.”
Two words.
The shift I felt walking in thickens. I’m the first to make my way to the back room and I take my seat at the head of the table… for the last time. Brothers file into the room and take their seats. Not a word is said, and the mood is low. Running my finger over the gavel, I wrap my hand around the handle, the wood as familiar to me as my own skin. Saying goodbye to the gavel, I spin it around between my fingers, and grin as I slam it down and clear my throat.
“We all know why we’re here. By the time we leave this room, Leo will either be your president, or you will have put a name forward of who you’d like to see in this chair. One way or another, the ass in this chair changes tonight.”
Their silence continues and I slowly let my eyes roam around every man I’ve called brother for more years than I can count. I hold so much respect for them and I’ve earned theirs in return. That shit is priceless and for life.
“I understand this is a huge change and it’ll be an adjustment, but you all know it would come to this one day. Given a new president usually takes the gavel after the death of the previous president, I’d say this decision should be easier since you fuckers will still have the pleasure of seeing my ass around here every day.”
I get a few laughs, but they all fall flat.
It’s Slade who asks, “Is this really what you want?”
Without hesitation, I tell him, “Yes.”
He nods and returns to silence. Pope sits forward and says, “Every brother here knows Cas. Whether we want to admit it or not, we know he wouldn’t make this decision lightly or put Leo forward if he didn’t truly believe he was capable of leading us in the right direction. The club needs to keep moving forward, and it’s now time to let Leo guide us.”
Brothers nod and I’m grateful I don’t have Pope fighting me on this. As old as he is now, I still don’t fancy a back-and-forth with him.
“Right, we may as well get this over with…” I say, trailing off.
Reaching for the gavel, I briefly close my eyes. The day has finally come where the words leave my mouth, “All in favour of Leo Jackson becoming the next president of the Lost Souls Motorcycle Club, say aye…”
Sharp silence.
No one meeting my eye.
I respect my brothers’ loyalty but they’re missing the bigger picture. I look to my oldest friend. Sparky’s jaw tightens and he narrows his eyes.
“Sparks, what say you?”
“Fuck.” He sighs. “Aye.”
He drops his chin to his chest as if he’s betraying me. I shift my gaze to JJ. He doesn’t keep me waiting.
The fucker grins. “Aye.”
In fact, none of the sons keep me waiting. Ayes whip around the table until I land on Slade.
“I’ll follow Leo just as I have you. Aye.”
The pressure I have come to live with, the weight of the club, slowly starts to lift.
