AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Though I have no concerns with Leo taking the gavel, I have given it thought as to what I’ll do with my time. I concluded that I finally have the time to do just as I please. I don’t need to plan ahead. My brother has nothing to worry about when it comes to me going forward. I don’t believe in regrets, and I doubt I’ll start believing in them now.
Sparky puts his fingers to his mouth and lets out an ear-piercing whistle, gaining the attention of every brother.
“Before Leo gets his ass here and we celebrate, I just wanna say a couple of things. First, I think it goes without saying—”
I snort and cut in, “Yet you’re gonna say it.”
Brothers chuckle and Sparky gets them back under control. “As I was saying, we will never forget the years you’ve given us, Cas. We may have lost brothers and loved ones, but you’ve done this club proud, and we all owe our lives to you.”
Brothers holler their agreement and Sparky raises his hands to quiet them.
“To our brother, Cas Jackson, you will always have our respect and love. We all hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for.”
Drinks are raised and I tip my chin. This is what the club is about—no matter the direction you head, they always have your back, and you have their full support.
Chapter Five
Leo
The evening breeze softly whips around me. I pull my hoodie up and crouch down to lay the flowers I picked up for India. Two other bunches fill the vases by her headstone. I know Kristen brings fresh flowers every week, but I don’t know who the other bunch are from.
“I dreamed of you when I got shot… I know it wasn’t really you but fuck, it felt so good to hold you and kiss you and hear your voice. I sometimes struggle to remember, and it terrifies me I’ll forget you altogether.”
Her white marble headstone with gold lettering assaults my eyes every time I look at it—the biggest fucking reminder she’s six feet under the dirt.
“I miss you so much. I welcome the day it gets easier and dread it all the same.”
As the clouds in the sky drift to the east, the moon shines down and I close my eyes.
“The club is voting on whether they want me to take the gavel. I hate you’re not at my side to see it. I’m pretty sure it’ll go my way. It’s not like the club hasn’t known this is what my dad’s wanted since I was born. I guess I just wanted to stop by and let you know I might not be able to get here as often. But if you’re with me, then it’s all good, yeah?”
Who am I kidding? She’s gone. She isn’t some ghost trailing me. I got her killed and nothing changes the past—not regret, not guilt, nothing.
Standing, I breathe through the pain radiating in my lower back and stomach as a raindrop hits my nose and I wipe it away. Before the heavens open up, I say my goodbyes and head back to the car.
“Are you nervous?” Mom asks, starting the car.
I know she’s asking about the vote but there’s so much more to my life I’m nervous about. Not that I’m going to talk to her about it. Fucking hell, she’d never get off my back about it if I did.
“Not really,” I say, looking at her. Her hands are tight around the wheel, and I raise my brow. “Are you?”
“Yes.” She laughs.
“What do you have to be nervous about?”
Glancing at me before averting her eyes back to the road, she says, “Do you forget you’re my son?”
I snort. “Not a single day goes by I forget that.”
“The club means everything to me, and to have the brothers believe in you the way they do your father… that shit means our family is one people follow. I don’t know how to explain properly but to see you at the head of the table… your grandpa would be so proud to see what he created is still going strong and his blood is wearing his patch after all these years.”
I never used to understand my mom clinging to the past, needing to keep it alive to survive in the present, but I do now. Family, whether alive or not, is what makes us the people we are today.
“How are you going to feel having Dad around a lot more?”
Her smile could light the world when she glances at me.
“I’m going to enjoy every second. The lord knows he’s given me enough stress over the years, and I deserve to relax. On a few occasions, I believed we wouldn’t get to this point so I’m not going to take it for granted.”
