Page 2 of His End Game

Inhaling deeply on the cigarette, I hold it down until it burns and exhale long and heavy.

“Sometimes peace isn’t achievable.”

I get it. Peace isn’t something I believe in anymore and yet, it’s easy to spew about it to Holly.

“I should never have gotten involved with Tal.” She sighs.

“Regret festers. It swallows you whole until you’re not the same person anymore. It will eat you up and rarely ever spit you out.”

Flicking the cigarette across the backyard, I close the window and slide down the wall, facing her.

“What do you know about regret?” she asks.

Wringing my hands together, I tell her, “The night India went into labour with Rayna, I was at the club. On my way to the hospital, we were held up by a rival club over bullshit. There was no way I was missing the birth of my kid and impulsively and recklessly, I shot the guy in the head. He was dead before he hit the ground. The rest of his men scattered, and I got to the hospital. My actions that night festered for a while and then his brother came seeking revenge. Because of what I did, because I didn’t think it through, a lot of people got hurt and my sister was used and abused. One night, he got into the club and managed to overpower my brothers and held them hostage. My fiancée was one of them. I was under strict instructions to wait to execute my dad’s plan, but I didn’t. With my sister, we went and gave ourselves up to him, which is what he wanted. I thought if he had me, then he would let her go. Instead, he made me watch as he shot her in the head. So, I know about regret. I’m fuckin’ riddled with it. I spend every day and every night going over everything I should’ve done differently.”

Though it’s real in this moment and usually I can’t even whisper her name; in the dark, with Holly’s pain enveloping me, it also feels like a dream, and I can’t stop myself.

“Maybe one day our regret and pain will be shadowed by peace and eventually fade away to happiness.”

Speaking about it is so much easier than believing it to be possible.

“Do you hope for such things?” I ask her.

“It’s not possible for me now.” She looks at me and adds, “What about you?”

“Hope is dangerous. Regret is safe. What you know is safe.”

With regret, nothing changes. With hope, it changes according to whatever is going on at the time. I hoped to be married and living to provide for my family by now. We didn’t even get far along enough to get married and start our lives together.

I won’t ever make the same mistake again. I’ll protect my daughter and give her everything she wants and needs, but when it comes to love, I can’t do it.

Love is all good till you lose it and then it’s the worst pain imaginable. I’m barely surviving now. To love again and lose it again, I wouldn’t survive. Even if I live a long life, my love for India will always be enough to carry me through the long years until my time comes for me and I see her again.

Chapter One

Leo

Sharp white light assault my eyes and I squeeze them shut to block out the intrusive annoyance. Pressure on my hand builds and I open my eyes to find my mom hovering at my side, squeezing my hand, tears in her eyes and a huge smile on her face. Luca steps up and his mouth moves, but I don’t catch what comes out of it. I’m in the hospital, that much I can work out for myself.

I was shot.

Yes, that’s right. I was at the club, went outside with Dad, and some fucker shot me in the back.

“Leo?”

Looking at my mom, I try to concentrate, but the soft glow coming from the fireplace in the cabin flashes before me. India. I was with her… wasn’t I?

“Hey, brother, nice to see you didn’t die.”

Yeah, fucking nice.

“Luca, go find your dad and let him know he’s awake, and find a nurse,” I hear Mom instruct.

She fusses with the hair around my face, but I don’t have the energy to shoo her away.

“Rayna?” I croak.

“She’s with Holly back at the club. Do you remember what happened?”

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