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“Do you feel better?”
She looks to Rayna—seeing she’s glued to the television as she eats—before saying, “Yeah, I do. I’m sorry I acted like that. I think we should go back to me being the nanny and nothing else.”
I should agree with her. I should nod and continue eating my dinner, relieved this bullshit will never happen again, but my gut sinks. I don’t agree. I don’t nod. I eat my dinner and do the dishes while Holly puts Rayna to bed.
I shut the light off and make sure the place is locked up and the alarm is set before climbing the stairs.
I hear her before I get to the top of the stairs and I sit on the top step, listening to her read Rayna a bedtime story. I smile hearing Rayna’s chuckles when Holly does a funny voice.
If I fuck things up with her too bad, she’ll leave and the one who will hurt the most is my kid. Jamming my knuckles into my eyes, it helps relieve the frustrations building up brick by brick.
Rayna’s door closes and Holly stops when she sees me. I pat the space next to me and after glancing at her bedroom door, she takes the four steps needed to sit beside me.
“I heard what you said, but I have a proposition for you. I want you to hear me out before jumping in.”
“Okay.”
“I didn’t lie when I said I haven’t been with Zara since before I got shot. I’m pretty fucking sure what you’ve probably imagined is nothing like how it went down either. Each time, and there were only a few, I was sick after because it didn’t feel right. But with you, it didn’t feel wrong at all. I can’t give you everything you want, but selfishly, I want in your bed every night.”
Her mouth opens but before she can say a word, I continue, “I propose that what happens here at the cabin stays between us and in turn, I’ll offer you exclusivity… not that we’d be together. If you ever want out, just say, but don’t ask for more.”
“So basically, we carry on sleeping together as we have been, but you don’t go elsewhere and when at the club, I’m just the nanny and no one knows a thing?”
When she puts it like that, I hear my audacity ringing loud and clear, but I nod. She’s quiet for so long, it puts me on edge.
I add, “You need to understand, though, it will never be more.”
Angling her body toward mine, she cups my cheek and says, “I understand.”
Kissing her isn’t wrong. I never once kissed Zara. With her, it was solely me getting my balls emptied. With Holly, kissing her is like kissing the woman you only want to kiss for the rest of your life, but you know it’s not possible. She works my belt and I lift my ass. She shoves my jeans down my thighs.
Straddling me, she pulls her summer dress up and over her head, baring her breasts. Leaning forward as she grinds against my dick; I suck on her nipple and her nails dig into the back of my neck.
“We should move. Rayna could wake up,” she whispers as I bite down on her bud.
Scooting forward on the stair, she wraps her legs around me tighter and I lift her and take her downstairs. My plan was to take her on the couch, but I can’t wait the extra few seconds it will take me to walk us into the living room. Pushing her against the wall, I slip my hand down between us and let my jeans fall to my ankles. She said she understands the deal and with that, the stress of the unknown with her completely disappears and the hunger to be inside her takes over.
“You good?”
Her eyes meet mine and she nods, biting down on her bottom lip. “I am. Now fuck me.”
I don’t need to be told twice. I fill her with every inch of me and spend the next few hours not getting any sleep and I’m fine with that.
Chapter Twelve
Holly
The moment I wake, I know I’m not alone. Relief surges through me and I have no intention of getting up, praying Rayna remains asleep for a while longer so I can enjoy this moment. Last night blew my mind. I didn’t expect for Leo to make such a deal. I mean, he still isn’t offering me the full package but for the moment, I can deal.
I’ll spend my days with Rayna, the nights with Leo, and all the while, earning money for when the day comes that I’ll have to leave. The rational part of me knows that day will be here before I know it and the little voice never fails to remind me.
It’s a day I try not to think about. When Leo first brought me here, the deal was he’d pay me to look after Rayna and he’d pay me well for it. It was perfect. At that point, I still wanted out of this town. I thought I could hide out here at the cabin, save money and then leave for forever on my own terms. But then I started to care for Rayna, and then over time, for Leo. It’s a strange situation we’ve found ourselves in, but somehow it feels right. I yearn to stroke his hand as his arm is underneath my neck. Just as I’m reaching out, he wakes, and I brace myself for his superman speed departure. I guess this time, I’ll actually get to see him leave.
“You awake?” he whispers.
“Yeah.”
He doesn’t jump up. He’s not leaving. I roll around to face him.
