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“Please stay,” I blurt out. “I don’t want to be alone.”
He stops mid-step, giving me an icy glare. “I don’t know what you think this is, but I don’t have the time or patience to babysit you. You are here because my brother has nowhere else to put you—that’s it.” I swallow around the lump in my throat. I want to ask him why he’s so mad, or what I did wrong, but he storms out of the room, closing the door behind him before I can.
I feel beyond alone right now, like I’m back in that cell, only it’s worse because there is someone for me to talk too now. There is no noise apart from my breathing and too fast heartbeat. I remain in the bed, the quilt tucked up to my cheeks, trying to let go of the irrational fear of being alone.
I shouldn’t care. Not really. It’s not Roman’s job to keep me company, so his words, though cold, aren’t false. I should be glad I’m here now, in this nice house, in a comfortable bed, instead of on the cot in the cell. All of this could’ve ended in a much worse way than me simply being alone, but it’s not enough for me.
I try to calm myself. I try to tell myself to just forget about the things plaguing my mind, but I can’t. The emptiness of the room threatens to swallow me whole, and I just can’t take it anymore. My mind is my worst enemy, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to escape it. I lay on the bed, watching as the room grows darker and darker.
Each passing second makes it harder and harder to breathe. I feel like I’m suffocating, and I don’t understand why. I was alone in that cell for days without caring, but being alone inside this room terrifies me.
Refusing to stay another second, I get up and tiptoe to the door. I open it quietly and stick my head out into the dimly lit hallway. I look left, then right. Roman isn’t anywhere in sight, so I step out into the hall and dart to the door across from mine.
My heart speeds up inside my chest. It pounds against my ribcage painfully. My hands shake as I raise one and knock on the door. Worry fills my gut when no one answers.
The thought of him leaving me here alone in this house consumes me, shaking my body to the core with fear. Before I can stop myself, my hand is on the doorknob, twisting it and pushing the door open. My eyes widen at my actions, and I take in the room before me.
The complete darkness is broken up by the hallway light now spilling into the room. I close the door behind me, and my feet move on their own, carrying me farther into the bedroom—Roman’s bedroom.
This is a bad idea. I should turn around right now and run back into my room. But…I can’t. My body craves this man’s presence, like an invisible force is pulling me toward him.
My feet move very slowly until I reach his bed. It’s easy to tell that he’s in it because I can make out his form beneath the sheets, the moon letting a sliver of light in through the window across the room. I run my fingers against the silky sheets as my gaze roams over Roman’s body. He has a blanket pulled up to his chin, covering his muscular chest.
His face is relaxed, making him look younger. I don’t know how old he is, but right now, he doesn’t look much older than me. I have this foolish urge to trace the contours of his face, to feel his skin beneath my touch. His lips are slightly parted, and I imagine myself kissing him…tasting him. I have no idea where this is coming from. I’ve never had these kinds of thoughts about a man before. Sex, attraction—it’s all a foreign concept to me.
The closer I get to him, the more at ease I feel. For a moment, I stand there, unsure of what I should do next. Do I wake him? I nibble on my bottom lip. He looks so peaceful…and would probably just send me back to my room—the last place I want to be right now.
I yawn. All I want to do is sleep. I eye the bed, contemplating the repercussions of sleeping beside him. What’s the worst that could happen?
Pushing the fear down, I quietly and carefully crawl into the bed, settling beside him. His scent washes over me, and a calmness encompasses my body. I curl up into a tiny ball on top of the blanket, pulling only a corner of the blanket over me. As soon as I relax into the mattress, I start to drift off to sleep, and for once, I don’t feel so alone.
