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Chapter One
JJ
I’m so fucking tired.
I can’t remember the last time I slept through the night for worrying about Harper being up and down, unable to sleep herself, either manic cleaning or smashing up the place, using a strength I didn’t know she possessed.
With Effie Rathbone still out there, ready to strike at any moment, Cas put the club on lockdown, ordering everyone there—no exceptions.
Harper lost her mind when I told her she had no choice but to go, and that I’d throw her in the car myself if she didn’t agree. Hence the meltdown, and me having to call in Cas. Spending so many months hiding the shit going on at home, I’m fucking drained.
Driving down the empty roads to the club, I lower the window to get some fresh air, only to be assaulted by Cas, Sparky, and Slade’s motorcycle engines. I glance over at Harper, whose head is leaning back against the headrest, her eyes closed as she rubs her hands up and down her legs. I burn to reach over and hold her thigh as I drive, but one touch from me could send her into another meltdown, which is the last thing I need.
With Dad and Cas in front of us, and Slade taking up the rear, we arrive at the club. I swing the car left, parking up next to Aspen’s, and shut off the engine. Neither of us move. The tension is so thick, not even a sharpened blade could cut through it.
“I’m sorry you have to be here. I just want to keep you and the baby safe.”
“Safe?” she huffs. Opening her eyes, she rolls her head and looks at me. “Then you shouldn’t surround us in death.”
I take a deep breath and blow it out slowly. It’s been so long since I looked at the woman next to me and saw my wife. All I see in her eyes is fear or emptiness. It scares me shitless when I see emptiness, and guilt nearly brings me to my knees when I see fear, knowing there’s nothing I can do to take it from her.
Throwing open the door, she heaves herself out and storms into the club, ignoring everyone as she goes. I still don’t move. She’s missed out on so much lately—Luca’s wedding being the most significant—and she still doesn’t care. But I blame myself. I’ve failed her.
I slam my hand against the steering wheel just as Cas knocks on the window. When I don’t respond, he opens the door and directs, “Settle Harper in, then I want you in the back room.”
He walks off with Slade, but Dad hangs back, rubbing his hand over his head.
“You could’ve come to me and your mom. We could’ve helped.”
I roll my shoulders, trying my damnedest not to snap at him. Maybe if I had asked for help, shit wouldn’t have gotten to this point. Maybe this, maybe that—it doesn’t matter now. The damage is done.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t, and I can’t deal with hearing about what Ishould’vedone right now.”
Getting out of the car, I slam the door shut and head into the club, with Dad hot on my ass.
Making my way over to the prospect behind the bar, I ask, “Where’d she go?”
“She asked for your old room key but it’s being used, so I gave her the key to Cas’s room.”
I take the stairs two at a time. Once I’m outside Cas’s door, I try the knob, but it’s locked. Rapping my knuckles against the wood, I call out, “Babe, please, let me in.”
Silence.
“I’m gonna talk to our dads. When I get back, we’ll get some sleep.”
Heading back down to the bar, the prospect sees me coming and slides me a beer, but I’m not interested in drinking at the moment.
“If Harper comes down, do not let her leave. You come get me. Understood?”
“Will do.”
“I mean it—donotlet her leave. She slips by you, there’s no excuse you could give that’ll save your life. You hear me?”
“Yeah, I do, man,” he replies, his face paling.
Seeing this makes me feel marginally better as I make my way into the back room and close myself inside with my angry father-in-law. Not surprised to see Leo and Luca have joined us, I take my seat and light a cigarette.
I eye each of my brothers, knowing they’re waiting for an explanation, but for the life of me, I don’t know where to start.
