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“I don’t know how I’m living without you.”
The pain that’s lived inside me for far too long is gone. When I inhale, I’m not having to fight just to take a breath. There’s no tension between my shoulders. An old familiar emotion of happiness settles over me like a warm blanket, and it’s all because I’m holding her.
“I’m here now. Tell me about Holly. What’s she like with our daughter?”
I don’t want to talk right now, but I want to give her anything she wants.
“She’s good with her, reads to her, plays with her. She does everything with her.” I shrug. “And Rayna likes her.”
“What does she look like? Is she beautiful?”
Growling, I tighten my hold on her and inhale deeply. The scent of her perfume doesn’t linger on her skin, but I remember what it smells like. In fact, she smells like nothing at all.
“I suppose she is, but she’s not you. No one can hold a candle to you.”
She presses her lips against my shoulder, causing my heart to pound so hard against my chest, I should feel dizzy, but I don’t. This is the most clear-headed I’ve been in years.
Holding onto her hips, I lift her up and carry her over to the couch. Hovering above her, I kiss my way from her neck and down to her stomach.
“I hate this couch,” she muses as I nestle between her legs.
“I know,” I say, kissing along her inner thigh. “But I don’t wanna talk about the furniture.”
I run my tongue across her skin, and her fingers dig into my hair, pulling until I climb up her body and lie beside her.
“You have to go back soon,” she whispers, running her fingertip down my nose. I catch it between my teeth, making her giggle.
“Go back where?”
“Rayna needs you.”
“We both need you. Don’t you dare leave me again.”
She swipes her thumb across my cheek and holds it up to the light. Wetness coats her skin, and I realise it’s from my tears.
“She needs her father.”
“She needs you—Ineed you. I’m so tired of living without you. If you can’t come with me, then I won’t leave.”
Sliding my arm underneath her, I hold her against me, terrified she’s going to slip into the darkness again.
“We both know this won’t last,” I hear her say into my chest, her breath warm against my skin. “You have to go.”
“I won’t leave you.”
“I’m already gone, babe,” she says, her voice sounding far away.
Running my fingers through her hair, I pull my hand away to find it covered in blood.
“Baby, what the…”
Turning her head, I come face-to-face with a blood-soaked hole until she looks up at me, and the urge to vomit grows strong.
“It hurts, Leo. It always hurts,” she cries.
“I’m so sorry. I’m…”
